my boyfriend is in love w/ another woman

[56617106]

my boyfriend had a girlfriend for about 2 years and they broke up. Not a day later, we started talking serious. four months later, he tells me that he never gave himself time to get over his ex and now i dont know what to do. he said that he is not in love with me but with his ex, but listen to this: he does not want to break up with me because he does not want to be with his ex and sees "potential" with me. i want a break but dont want to lose him forever, but i also can't wake up crying and go to sleep crying because i am madly in love with him. i think i should give him the break but i don't want him talking to her. Am I wasting my time because of him being in love with another woman or is it my fault for not giving him time to get over his ex. i need help NOW!!![/code]

[sparkler624]

That's tricky. If I were in your shoes I would go on a break. You guys can figure out what you both want. He is still hung up on his ex and said that you wanted a break. Don't let losing him as your excuse for staying with him. If he is still feeling something for his ex, there is nothing that will speed up his healing. Maybe when he is away from you he will realize his true feelings for you and want to get back together. If he doesn't then it is his loss. But it is not fair for you to be in limbo over the whole thing. Good luck!

[56617106]

but he did say that he does not want to get back with her at all because of something she did. I love him so much and i really dont want to risk losing him. is this a risk i should take? thank you for reading and answering.

[sparkler624]

I think he might need some time to be 'alone'. Talk to him about it. If he says that he is completely cool and doesn't need anytime to get over her then maybe takes things a little slower. He might've jumped into the whole relationship too quickly after his last one and is afraid of getting hurt again. Just let him know how you feel because it's not fair for you to have been crying everynight.

[56617106]

you think that that is a risk i should without a doubt take. thank you so much.

[StarBrite]

2 years in a relationship with someone remotely serious is a long time. You should've given him time when they first broke up whether he said he needed it or not because frankly, it sounds like a rebound relationship. I would have to agree with backing off and giving him time to sort things out. And not just a day or two either because this kind of thing takes time to straighten out. It also wasn't fair to you jumping into this and making you have to suffer through a break either, but i'm sure he probly didn't think of that

[DrNick]

That's a tricky situation. I think you both need some time apart, because he has to get his head straight. I know you're afraid of losing him, but you have to take that risk. It's not fair to you to stay in a relationship where he's admitted that he can't commit to you. Good luck.