jimbobday Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 So me and my GF had a huge argument and theres the possibility of us breaking up. Theres going to be I'm not sure if its my fault or not but heres the situation anyway. So a year or so ago when we last broke up I got into using phermones primarily to help me with girls. My GF last night found my posts on a forum about this. She knows I still visit this forum the reason why is that its got sprays that she really likes the smell of and also some that help me get respect at work. Now she is really angry and is thinking I'm trying to hit on all my friends that are girls. I've tried explaining the situation to her and the fact that it was a year ago and we were apart and I go on there now because you like some of the sprays I get but she doesn't believe me. I'm really stuck on this one. Can anyone offer me any advice here? Link to comment
velvette Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 offer to NOT go on there anymore, if she insists? doubt she's with you for the pheromones. plus you say "respect at work"--uh, elaborate? either way, don't depend on these things anymore. just give it up, and she'll be fine right? is this really worth being stuck on? p.s. if you honestly think pheromones are beneficial to your social life and relationship, then you'll need to explain this to her later. but first stop using it, isn't that the obvious route? be on good terms with her again, and then bring it up and maybe even buy HER pheromones?? (you wouldn't have a problem with her using pheromones to get 'respect' at her work, right?) perhaps if she also buys into this, you guys can enjoy pheromones together! Link to comment
jimbobday Posted February 17, 2011 Author Share Posted February 17, 2011 No worries with giving it up. Have already said I won't go on there again. They help get you respect at work a little bit but definitely not worth losing the relationship over. The main reason I was on there was because she liked the smell of them. Unfortunately this may be to late to help the situation. I suppose all I can do is give it time now? Link to comment
geekgirl4 Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 Errr, let me give you another take. Even if the pheromones are for her to enjoy, it doesn't meant the pheromones are directly tailored to only her - it still takes effect with other girls around you. It looks bad, even if you don't mean it. Why can't you stick with just normal cologne? The only thing you can do now is apologize, keep telling her that the pheromones were scents she liked which is why you continued, and you are willing to completely give it up for her. I can understand getting upset but getting so upset to want to break up is taking a bit too far and I think she is a bit insecure. Have you given her any reason to not completely trust you since you two got together from the breakup? Link to comment
jimbobday Posted February 17, 2011 Author Share Posted February 17, 2011 Thanks geekgirl yep have offered to completely give them up as she was really the only reason I keep using them. Theres another cologne she kind of likes so ill just run with that thats no problem at all. Yep agree although I'm a bit worried that keeping on pushing that might make it even worse. I think she is kind of insecure although she usually comes accross as very confident and agree that her taking it to that stage really is a bit to far. She does have it stuck in her head that I have a crush on one of my childhood friends who I dated for 3 days when we were 13. We have been friends for years and years so can't give up that friendship as shes helped me through a lot. I suppose thats what I'm trying to get her past is the fact that she thinks I have a crush on my friend (which I don't feel a thing for). I've invited her out with us when we go out (which is often as the friend lives in auzzie). So still a little stuck with what to do here. Link to comment
misssmithviii Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 Sounds like your part in this now is to convince her, prove to her that you are there for her. Initiate a conversation about it and about how you never meant to hurt her and that you love her - initiating a conversation with her will show you find it important (I know I wish my bf would initiate more conversations hehe) Take her out, court her a little and remind her she's the only one because it's obvious she's hurt and feels insecure about this whole thing - probably because she feels like she loves you and is attracted REGARDLESS of what pheromones you're wearing and she doesn't like how it's inevitably attracting other females or at least getting some sort of carnal attention from them. She'll be fine, just hold her a little now while she's in doubt. You'll flush those fears right out of her and she'll grow more confident in you. Link to comment
jimbobday Posted February 17, 2011 Author Share Posted February 17, 2011 Thanks misssmithviii that was a really great post and very comforting. Ill initiate a conversation with her tonight and just say sorry and that I love her and that I didn't mean to hurt her then leave it at that and leave the rest up to my actions Link to comment
geekgirl4 Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 I think its nice of you to try and shower her with affections, but just keep in mind that after a certain point, its her move to either work past her insecurities or to just keep pointing a finger at you. Good luck! Link to comment
jimbobday Posted February 18, 2011 Author Share Posted February 18, 2011 Thanks geekgirl completely agree. I thought she had worked past them since our last breakup and things had been going great for 6 months up until now. This was the reason why we broke up last time. She is seeing a counselor so she is making an effort. I guess I'll give it a week or so and see what happens. Link to comment
jimbobday Posted February 19, 2011 Author Share Posted February 19, 2011 I've tried to talk to her about it but she doesn't really want to talk. She keeps thinking that there is something between me and one of my friends. I've tried everything I can think of I've tried courting her but that just makes her think I've done something wrong. Does anyone have any ideas here? I'm out of them and feel like our relationship isn't what it used to be. Link to comment
jimbobday Posted February 19, 2011 Author Share Posted February 19, 2011 well looks like it might be over after she bought home picture of her kissing and grooping another guy.... Dont even know what im going to do now Link to comment
geekgirl4 Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 That's taking it way too far. She's being unnecessarily immature about this and its rather shocking how vindictive she is. Like I said before, there's only so much you can do to get a person to trust you. The rest is up to them. Link to comment
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