How do I talk to a woman I like?

[mammadon]

There is this woman at work I like, and talk to from time to time. How do I talk to her further and go out on date?

[Batya33]

The way my husband did it -after we had talked a bit at work and discovered some things in common, he called me and asked me to go to lunch during the work day. He was very shy at the time. The lunch went well, we dated for about 2 years, then broke up for 8 years (after 6 months of dating the first time around I left the company) then got back together and have now been married 2 years. A long journey but I'm certain that if he hadn't asked me to lunch none of this would have happened. So glad he did.

[mammadon]

thanks for the reply. What conversational tips should be used?

[Batya33]

I remember he asked me why I chose the career I did and listened with interest to my answer -he was a good listener and made great eye contact.

[mammadon]

OK. I feel I a good listener, but I am not the greatest of conversationalists. thanks anyhow.

[Batya33]

OK. I feel I a good listener, but I am not the greatest of conversationalists. thanks anyhow.

 

I think being a good and active listener more than suffices.

[alexrox]

I think being a good and active listener more than suffices.

 

Only to a point, because if she talks and all a guy does is listen it IS good but, if there are any quiet moments and neither person has anything to say, it's gonna get awkward.

 

It's hard to explain how because everyone talks about different things, but just start asking questions about herself like her interests, family, friends and anything similar. Just don't ask about her previous boyfriends, it's probably not a good idea. Oh, and don't talk too much about yourself; she might want to know more about you but just don't blab on and on about you and not let her have something to say about herself. Now that's only part of it. While she is talking, ask her questions about what she's talking about, then it makes it seem as if you actually ARE listening rather than just sitting there blankly.

 

I hope this helps, it's easier said than done, but it just takes some practice. Last bit of advice, think about how you talk with your friends and family. Does the conversation flow well? If so just have that type of conversation with her, after all you want to learn more about her, right?

 

Good luck!