Anyone work with an ex??

[aftershock879]

You know when everyone gives you advise and you sort of listen but think that's too harsh to do??that your way is better....it's really not,always take the advise of someone with an outside opinion,not to the letter but still take it in.

I wish I really did,not that it would change much to be honest when a woman makes her mind up,especially a stubborn one there is not much you can do but let go.

What makes my position worse is I have to see my ex everyday....yes it sucks!

I tried the nc,just ignoring,being civil but they always find a way of getting under your skin where you are compelled to email/txt/call them.

I have been broken up a little of a month and it doesn't get much easier I'll tell you that.

You know the saying it will get alot worse before it gets better in this case I couldn't agree more.

I've heard it all....'it's not you it's me','I don't know why I'm feeling like this' 'I don't want you to not be in my life' 'I don't know how I see you' and the dreaded I want to be friends....sound familiar to anyone?

I'm pretty gutted right now I have lost someone I love and my best friend,someone that made going into work everyday that little bit more bearable...all that has gone.

Putting a face on everyday like it's cool when it's really not...the mask slips from time to time!

When we split I didn't cry,beg or plead just wanted answers as it changed in a matter of weeks....how can someone go from being mad about u to seeing you as nothing more than a friend....it's a jagged pill to swallow as I see her acting like nothing big has happened,we are not kids either but it all seems abit childish.

Seriously how do u move on when you see them everyday??

I now know it's over and it's over for good....everything that she said gave me some hope as we had an awesome relationship and thought it would count for something,but in the cold light of day the past counts for nothing when a woman has got it in her head that's she doesn't want to be with you.

My advise to other guys out there is as soon as you hear any of the above just accept it and say fine if they love you they will come back because of that fact.

I think I ruined any chance I had by pushing for answers and rehashing the past it pushes them away further when in your head you think you are doing the right think.

I made myself look weak I can admit but love does funny things to us,and we will hold on to the last breath.

I did that and it didn't do me any favours,I've gone through the hurt part just realisation that nothing will be the same again...everything has changed.

Then I think why the hell do I want to be with someone who doesn't love me?that's the main thing you have to ask yourself!

Should I be giving all my thoughts to them when they are probably not giving me much thought...I might be wrong but it helps me.

I hope through my experience I can help others,don't live in limbo waiting for something that might never happen...get on with life don't stand still!

I wouldnt mind hearing other peoples stories about office relationships???

Any advise on how to handle this would help me greatly

[GotMyLifeBack]

I'm almost 8 months post-BU and I work with my ex. Did the begging and pleading around week 2. She got a new bf around week 4. We had maybe 2 conversations and very little texting. Around the second month I started NC for long stretches at a time. It's over 2 months now. When I have to see her, I give her a cheery "Hi" and she responds with a fake smile and looks that could kill. Her problem, not mine. She left me, I didn't leave her.

 

Moral of the story: You have to put you first because she gave up on you.

[aftershock879]

Hear that buddy!

I know there's no one else,I was her first partner in years so don't see her jumping into anything else for a while,I'm thinking about me and am dating someone else now,she doesn't know about it and I don't intend to say anything as I'm not sure where its going as I'm not over my ex yet.

Does it get any easier??

[GotMyLifeBack]

Hear that buddy!

I know there's no one else,I was her first partner in years so don't see her jumping into anything else for a while,I'm thinking about me and am dating someone else now,she doesn't know about it and I don't intend to say anything as I'm not sure where its going as I'm not over my ex yet.

Does it get any easier??

 

Yes, it gets easier, but I've worked very hard at learning everything I could about what went wrong in the relationship, my role in it, learning better communication skills, and healing myself. I'm way better than I was a few months ago but still feel gutted once in a while.

 

As you know it's especially hard to heal working with your ex.

 

Take this advice with a grain of salt since you know yourself better than anyone else: I'd be careful about becoming serious with someone else. It may feel like it relieves some of your pain, but it may only be masking it. Pain is the portal to self-knowledge and you have an opportunity to learn things about yourself that are life-changing.

 

My ex jumped into a rebound relationship right after she left me because she's so afraid of being alone. Even if she comes back to me in the future, I've probably outgrown her. This gap widens every day that I'm pushing myself to grow and she is taking refuge with her rebound.

[aftershock879]

My ex is the opposite really she prefers being on her own....probably why we are not together now.

 

I see where I went wrong here trust me I look back now to the time gone by, I am glad I never begged/cried/pleaded I more asked a lot of questions to why her feelings changed so quickly, but prob contacted her too much in the process mainly at work through e-mail but I am done now.

 

It hurts that we won't be the same anymore and we all can't do the things we used too but such is life and there is nothing I can do but get on with things and whatever happens happens, we got back to being friends once in a worse situation so you never know.

 

We will never be as close as we were I think we have past that point after we committed to eachother, I don't regret it at all, just wished maybe we would have been better friends if we didn't.

[GotMyLifeBack]

Same with me. There was a point when I was with her that I realized I was committed to her on so many levels that we could never dial it back to "just friends." I not only won't dishonor myself by doing that, I can't.

 

I'm going to be a little facetious, but only to make a point. When you've deeply loved someone, you're present to them 100%. When they reject that and say "Oh, let's be friends," it's like them saying now they only want 75% of you to show up. What emotional contortions would one have to do to pull that off?

 

There is a point of no return. I think that relationships with less emotional depth have a better chance of morphing into a friendship. Of course I'm making generalizations and there are plenty of exceptions.