Does she really only want to be friends?

[widget]

OK. First of all hi everyone.

 

Second of all i hope the lady in question never visits these forums....

 

Anyway - basically i have got to know this girl on the net who i share a fair amount in common with and i think she's really cool to chat with and i like her a lot. So after chatting lots and become pretty good friends i came out with it and told her that i really like her. I asked her whether she wanted to meet up, but said you're probably going out with someone anyway, right?

 

Well her reply was no... but its complicated. So i said OK well take as much time u want to sort it out and well still be friends and if u like meet up sometime.

 

A few hours after this i guess she had some time to think about and we got chatting on the net again and she said: "you know you wanted to meet up? ..... well maybe we could, but only in a friendly way if u know what i mean". So i agreed and we said we'd chat about meeting up sometime soon.

 

So here i am wondering if / wishing that she'll want to be more than just friends in time. What do any of u think will she ever want to? i know she finds me pretty funny and likes me as a friend and i just think she's really cool to chat with and like her personality.

 

Anyway even if she doesn't want anything more i'd still like to meet up with her as a friend.

 

opinions?

[Mar]

You have to realize a couple of things in this situation: 1)she doesn't know you from Adam, and is going to (if she has a brain in her head) be wary/cautious of meeting up with a complete stranger. Friends is the safest approach for her to take. If you pushed her on that, she might think you were after more, or something "sinister", and you'd have blown it. Being the gentleman you are, you said friends is fine, and still would like to meet up.

 

Who can say if she'd want more or not? It's very easy to become attracted to a personality on a computer screen, but oftentimes a lot different when you meet that person face to face and discover that you don't like their mannerisms, their attitude on things, etc. Even something as basic as looks, although that's rather shallow unless you look like Jabba the Hut.

 

Go with the meeting with the intention of gaining a good friend out of the deal. Don't pressure her for more beforehand, and let her lead the way on how she wants to proceed. If there's something there, you'll both click. If not, you'll have gained a special friend. Either way, you're not losing out.

 

Mar

[widget]

yes i understand its a pretty big leap in faith meeting up with someone you've met over the net. I think we've chatted enough for her to know that im not some psycho... i guess as u say friends is the safest approach for her though, now i think about it its probably the most logical approach too if i put myself in her situation.

 

I was definitely thinking of 'winging it' and seeing how it goes when we meet up and letting her 'lead the way' as you say. Maybe i just needed to hear some reassurance that im on the right track.... i've never truly even had a decent long-term relationship so i appeciate the relationship guidance.

 

Oh well i guess i better learn to drive pretty sharpish or look at the prices for a rail card. Im determined to find some way to go up and see her... so long as we're both willing i'll find a way of making it happen. And we'll see how it goes from there.

 

Thanks for the advice.

 

P.S. No i don't look like Jabba the Hut... but i think its best we swap a pic or two of ourselves before we meet... just for reassurance both ends!

[dpressedone89]

have you talked to her on the phone? because you should be just as careful as she should about an online relationship. and by the way shouldnt this be in cyber relationships? w/e good luck.

-sTiTcHEs

[widget]

nope never called her.... i don't wanna push her into things like giving me her number and come accross like some weirdo. I see your point but im sure before we meet up we'll swap numbers and probably a photo or two. If only for practical reasons so i can call her if i get lost and she knows who she's looking for and vice versa!!

 

I think we're both as genuine as each other really... she probably thinks im a bit mad wanting to come up and see her i dunno, but i have reassured her that its totally cool with me for it to only be for a friendly chat. Well i guess its up to some higher power to determine what happens next

 

P.S. i didn't realise there was a section for cyber relationships....

[energy-blast]

hi everybody.

 

I kinda have the same problem as widget... I met this girl on the internet, and we saw pics of each other and I really like her... I feel like we can talk about everything.... I gave her my number, but I've never spoken to her ..I guess I'm a bit afraid, it's because I'm not english, and I don't know if she'd like me anymore because my accent it's a bit weird french)... I live in England though and she really thinks I;m hot Today she told me to turn her on and I didn't know what to do, which is the best way to turn a girl on while chating?, any suggestions would be appreciated

[Amoretto]

hey, i have a question, when you meet someone online you think he/she is very cool or you may like he/she , the next action you do is aks he/she for a face-to-face meeting? why? because you want a boy/girl friend? or have other reason? why not just keep in touch online?