Not sure what to think.....

[aftershock879]

I have posted my full story before but the long and short of it is that we work together and have been involved a couple of years really close and have been in a serious relationship for the last 8 months,no arguments always good.....

 

So we split up a few weeks ago and it came out of no where really,as before we were both happy,so hit me like a freight train,had our first little blip over new year where we didnt spend it together,due to illness I wanted to see her and thought I was going to,never did and was abit angry as my plans revolved around her.

She sent me a txt apologizing for acting like a * * * * * (her words) so I said it's like u don't want to be with me at all the way u are acting sick or not.

She said I was being silly,fair enough I felt better,so I call a couple of days later clear the air everything seems fine.

 

Then a couple of weeks later as we hadn't seen eachother for weeks I say we should meet up to sort everything out (we had never had a period like this)

 

Then the bombshell....she said she didn't know how she felt about me....I said if u are not happy then just say,that was not the problem she was.

So she breaks up with me....

I didn't beg or plea,just trying to get my head round things as everything was always good...she said she didn't know why she was thinking the way she was. Scared?over analysed things?she still can't tell me why she has these doubts.

 

she has been single for many years....like let's say more than 5 less than 10.

Her last fella walked out with someone close to her....

 

So the aftermath is that she has panicked over what she has done,will never be sure that it was the right thing to do and has not said nothing will ever happen....

 

One thing you should know she is a very stubborn and proud person.....

 

So I started the whole n/c thing,she made an effort trying to act friendly,I answered her txts calls etc....

 

She could tell I was pissed off and it slowly became more formal when we did speak.

 

I have been hurting and took this time to sort my head out and get out and do more things with friends etc...started training for a half marathon,quit smoking.

 

And looking for a new job....turned one down as it seemed like I'd be running away,so I took a stand and stayed!she contacted me asking about the job and if I was going to Leave,I said maybe to which she hoped it wasn't because of her etc....

 

Then saying things like I don't want you to vanish from her life she's missed me,

That the only thing she can offer at the moment is friendship but never saying I don't want anything to happen....I'm thinking whatever!

 

I have never wanted to be friends with an ex,even ones I was really close to,no one I know has either!

 

So me knowing what is like and knows she holds a grudge,I sent her a polit email saying I've been thinking about what we talked about and I've missed u too and think we should spend some time together blah blah blah.

She readily agreed and said she would like that,saying that because I hadn't been in contact she thought I wanted nothing to do with her....it crossed my mind a few times!

Anyway I said look if anything is going to happen then we should spend time together and see how it goes she agreed,but doesn't give much away but was more friendly than it has been!

She also added about us doing things as just friends....she knows how I feel about her and knows what I want,I will not be friends with her that's for sure,we have never hung out outside of work as just friends just the 2 of us!so that doesn't work.

 

I don't plan on meeting up anytime soon,it's up to her now I have done enough I think!

 

Do you think it's a good idea?we are very close,neither of us have had a connection like this and neither of us were unhappy though she does have trust and insecurity issues at times!

 

Should I go or just leave it,I want it to work!

[cr44hill]

I'm not sure I understand, do you currently have plans to meet up with her outside of work? you could meet up once and see how it goes. if you think it could lead to something more stick with it (and she wants to as well) but if she's made it clear she only wants to as friends I'd be very weary. Also, do you know if there's someone else? doesn't sound like it. If you meet up and don't sense things moving forward or you suggest something more involved for a 2nd meeting and she objects I'd drop by to NC. I'm sort of in the same boat but I've got a lunch on Wed. and if things don't move afterwards I've got some soul searching to do.