Why hasn't he filed?

[single30]

My husband said he wants a divorce, but it has been two months since he told me and he still has not filed. I told him that if he wanted the divorce, that he can go ahead and do it. What the hell?

[brokenpogostick]

perhaps he needs to come up with the retainer for the attorney?

[single30]

I should have mentioned that part.

He has it. He makes plenty of money... and since he left me is living at home with his parents at no cost to him.

[Katheelynn]

Can it be that he is just coasting...enjoying the freedom that he has now and doesnt want to face the ugliness of the divorce preceedings? How is his contact with you? Is he seeing anyone else, that u know of? The dragging of his feet may be that he doesnt want to become the bad guy....just a thought!

[single30]

yeah, I dont' know what he is doing.

He is the nicest guy to walk to the face of the earth... so yeah, maybe he doesn't want to be the bad guy. He wants to be friends, our contact is mostly email these days, as I told him that I need to not see him for now. He is very kind and loving... I guess I just always assumed that he would take some action. This has been going on for so long now.

Needless to say, I just emailed and asked him to please get the ball rolling so that I can move on.

I do not believe that he is seeing anyone else.

[dpressedone89]

are there any family events coming up because i could imagine not wanting the divorce to overshadow a childs birthday or something.

[hurtabandoned]

Could it possibly be because he is having second thoughts? It sounds like there is nothing standing in his way other that the possibility that he's not feeling so sure about ending it.

 

I told my ex husband that I wanted a divorce. In the state where I live you have to be living separate for a year prior to filing for divorce. I filed for a divorce one year and one day later. I REALLY wanted the divorce.

 

Something is holding him back. How would you feel if he has changed his mind?

[single30]

hm... thank you everyone.

We do not have any children, and he has told his family about the news (the one reason i take him seriously, he does not tell them anything). I was kind of thinking the same thing, I dont' know that he is 100% on this, I tink he family is partly behind it, but hey, I don't know for sure.

Just seems odd to me.

[Texanne]

My husband hasnt filed either and he said he wanted a divorce over a year ago. Im not sure whats stopping him either, its not money, that I know. Second thoughts, possibly, but hes not actively trying to reconcile with me. We get along fine now but I havnt seen any signs he wants to come home. I miss him and wish nothing more than for us to work things out but presently he seems to still be riding the fence so to speak. I wish I had some encouraging words for you but honestly all I can say is, if you want the divorce then perhaps you should file, and if you dont want it... hold on, it may be a long ride.

[single30]

I'm tired of living in limbo. I dont' know how you have done that for a year!

uhg.

[Texanne]

Initially I felt like you but after alot of thought and prayer I realized, I am not willing to give up. Marriage vows today seem too easily forgotten and cast off as insignificant. I intend to stick by mine . If he wants this a divorce he will have to file it, in the mean time, I'll continue fighting for my marriage. And although I dont see reconcilation in the immediate future, I also do not see divorce attorneys on the horizon either. My husband and I get along well now, better than before, and are learning to spend time together again without the tension and strife. So as far as Im concered there is hope.