Help me please he wont leave!

[butterflykiss04]

My boyfriend of three years and I broke up 5 days ago the problem is this we sing a lease together and it expires in a year now he is not acting like he has any intention of leaving we really havent talked but this has me kindda worryed I dont know if I could stand us living together because in some ways I still want to be with him I cant leave because I have 2 kids and nowhere to go and I was here first! My question I guess is could you do it and why and I would appreciate some advice.

[thatguy]

this seems like a big problem. have you talked to him about any of this, you should see how he feels on the matter, since you aren't together anymore, what is the point of living together.

 

i dont think theres anyway you can force him to move out, since you both co-signed.

[lady00]

what reasons has he given you for not leaving? If you two are broken up, one of you has to move out. Try telling him that it would be easier for him to move because you have kids. If he doesn't budge, are you sure there is nowhere you can go? Have you tried to find another place to stay, even temporarily while you find a permanent place. Living together after breaking up is just going to bring more heartache. Someone has to go.

[OceanEyes]

we sing a lease together and it expires in a year now he is not acting like he has any intention of leaving we really havent talked but this

 

Well, the problem is that you haven't properly talked about it. I know how you feel though, sometimes it's hard to bring up things like this because you're afraid of how the conversation (or argument) will go. I've sort of been here before.

 

So, you have two children and you were there first? (I am guessing it was your apartment before and he moved in, then you signed a lease together). Does he have kids living there too or are the two children you refer to his?

 

I think he should be gracious enough to leave, especially if you have two kids to worry about and it was your apartment first. Of course, it's probably not going to be easy for either of you to just move out tomorrow, but you simply must discuss it. You can't continue living together if you're trying to go your separate ways forever.

[Mun]

Hi,

Talk about this with him and if he refuses to leave then you will have to go.

 

It won't matter who was there first when you find you need to go on with your life. Living together after the break up is going to be difficult--you don't want to submit the children to that.

 

Good luck

[butterflykiss04]

Thank you all for the input and advice one of my kids is his and I do have somewhere to go but its out of the country and he wont let me take my daughter if I leave I cant just move because I am just starting to get myself together I havent work a day in my life because of a heart decease and recently decided that I wouldnt let this keep me down I start cna classes in sep. and get on my feet from there. thanx again for all the great advise and input!

[Francis]

Obviously, he wants to stay because he really loves you, otherwise he would take the opportunity to leave asap. Since there are children involved and you also said that some way you still want him, is there not a way to save the relationship ?

 

I am saying this because in my work I see divorces and separations everyday and when people realize the toll (psychological and economical) this has upon the partners, the children, etc. some of them think they should have at least tried to resolve their problems instead of experiencing all this.

 

(Of course, I am assuming there is no violence or sexual abuse involved)

 

It is difficult to give you advice because we have very little information about your situation.

 

I wish you the best.