Guilt about money

[Calima]

When meeting someone from an LDR for the first time, who should pay the trip. The person with money yes? I have the money, he has the guilt!

[Maroney555]

If you are down to pay for the trip, tell him to stop tripping out and let you come meet him. If it's really no sweat that you can front the costs, then tell him.

[Jd1983]

Perhaps you could pay this time and next time when he gets a little more situated, he could pay?

[PaintWithLight]

Without sharing too much information, how far is the distance? Is he coming in from another country? Or is he just in another city? Also, what are you fronting? The whole thing? As a guy, I would want to pay at least some of the trip.

 

The greatest costs for me does not seem to be the airfare to travel, it is the hotel and meals and taxis that really cost.

 

Why does he not have the money? He is working right?

[ibu]

When I flew in to meet my guy, I paid for the airfare to his country, he paid half of it back in hotel costs, public transport tickets and food for me.

 

If he is flying in to meet you, and I were him, I'd definitely feel bad about it if you paid for the whole trip. Even if you're the one with money (unless he's out for your money which I sincerely hope he's not). Eventually this is going to be a problem that's going to come between you. Why not share the costs? He must have SOME money to pay for something, right?

[Calima]

Ok to be fair... I hardly did give much info. The problem I mention is a past one. Something I've never been able to get over. What I would be fronting, would yes, be everything. Hotel isn't an issue, as I have an apartment. Food is the same as groceries. Airfare would be from another country, yes. It's pricey.. maybe double the price of one months rent. I no longer have the money as I spent it last year. The problem persists in my head though. He was unemployed at the time. Thing is, if he had been, and offered me the trip, I would have taken it. Reversed though, he doesn't like the idea!

 

I struggle to understand it.

[ibu]

This would be the first time meeting your guy, right? Letting him stay in your apartment without having met before is hardly a wise choice!

I stayed in a hotel when I went over to meet my online guy.

 

But I don't get what you're saying....first you're saying you have the money...now you're saying you don't have it as you spent it last year.....maybe it's me, but I don't get it.

[Calima]

ha.. I know.. it's not very clear. Let's just say that the possibility is open, and leave money out of it entirely. I have my certain motivation about the money issue, and I was contradicting myself. Very sorry :S

[Jd1983]

Honestly, from what you wrote - I would not be forking over that amount of money to meet someone for the first time. If he wants to see you, he would have to find means to do so.

 

Who's to say that it'll be worth it at the end? You're going to be paying for everything, and just the airfare alone is the cost of 2 months rent? No way!