he has to choose between me and his family

[honeygirl24]

Me and my bf have been going out for 2+ years and things have been going great. And I was faced with a delima, because my grandmother who i was living with was moving and I would have no where to live, so me and my bf decided to move in together. We have only been living together for a month or so and he has to move out.

Because he is muslim (and i'm not) and his parents don't like me as it is because i'm not and they were saying they were going to deown him and stuff like that. and he had a choice to made....and i wouldn't let him choose me because i can't have the fact if he loses his family its my fault, i know i wouldn't be able to deal with that. But now that his parents won and got what they wanted....i feel kind of selfish because i don't want him to leave. i just don't know what to do or how to feel. and now that he's moved back home his parents don't want him see me (he is 21, i'm 18 ) so he has to sneak to see me. any advice would be great appreciated...

[lillady898]

Wow...

 

First of all, I really don't think parents should decide who their kids can and cannot love, unless the person is destructive. I don't think that's really the case in this situation, though.

 

Yes, people should respect their elders and what they say, however not when parents are taking advantage of that respect. Clearly, that is what is happening here.

 

That, unfortunately, is completely out of your control.

 

Many religions don't believe in inter-faith marriages, but as religions become more modern, that concept gets less and less important. There are many inter-faith marriages today, which makes it somewhat odd that this family is so against you two being together.

 

Don't all religions promote everybody loving eachother?

 

That, also, is completely out of your control.

 

Love is not like a light switch; It cannot be turned on and off whenever you want to. Noone can tell you to stop loving this man, and noone can tell him to stop loving you.

 

There are not many options here.

 

First, you have to ask yourself how important this relationship is.

 

You don't want to break up a family, but why would a family want to break you two up? Families usually support eachother... Right? So, I don't see it as him losing a family. He's gaining one. You.

 

There is one major and huge option. You could consider converting to Muslim. That is something you'de really have to decide on your own.

 

The one thing you cannot do is hide the fact that you love him (if you truly do). Love should not be hidden. From anyone. Including his family.

 

But, you can't tell him what to choose. He is the only one that can weigh the importance to him out. It's the rest of his life that he's determining.

 

The way I look at it is this. If you're meant to be together, eventually you will. It's fate.

[honeygirl24]

thanks lillady i appreciate your advice and i will truly take it to heart. because i do love him a lot and want to be with him. so i am just hoping his family will understand one day.