Cling

[SeaDunkel]

As you led me into this place

You promised that You wouldn't leave my side

And said that You love me no matter what happens

I didn't expect that the darkness would be so blinding

The silence so deafening

The pain so numbing

The fear so crippling

The journey so wearisome

 

I didn't realize that this odyssey would lead to the depths of my soul

To forgotten wounds that scarred my heart

Agonizing memories that scream to be remembered

Undefeated terrors that continue haunt me

Rejections that sting despite brushing them aside

Buried doubts that resurfaced without my consent

My deepest longings demanded to be acknowledged

And all of it surrendered to You

 

I didn't envision that the gloom would still linger

With the moments of relief being so fleeting

Homesickness escalated into a constant battle

But with no assurance of the comfort I seek

Contentedness became an estranged friend

Who rarely stops in to visit these days

And hope would seem like a cruel joke

Meant to taunt more than encourage

 

But You have faithfully stood by my side

Although the touch of Your hand is faint

Your voice is sometimes so weak

And Your purposes remain hidden from me

You promised that Your love would conquer all

And I cling to that

As the grief rushes in and I sense the dull aching

Even now I unashamedly cling to that

[eloise]

This is a very sad poem. If you are really suffering this way, I can relate. But I also hope that if you are trying to get over someone, you cannot forget that the things we say and tell ourselves paint our feelings. Have you written about hope and 'painted' more cheerful outlooks for yourself with your words? I can certainly sense your pain in your words. I can't help seeing a real person in pain about a real situation. Grief Sucks.

[SeaDunkel]

Yeah, it's definitely based on exactly what I'm feeling right now. I have more good days than bad, but today was just a particularly bad one. I've been trying to snap out of it, but I can't seem to shake off the bad feelings today. I've been trying to get over a break-up for a very long time, and on top of that someone I admired very much killed himself this week (his wife had left him) so I'm also trying to deal with that. I'd love to write something more hopeful, but I don't think I'm capable of that today.