an update about me and my ex g/f

[mazxs]

Hi folk's is mazxs here with an update.

 

Please read all my other posts for the beginning.

 

Well i wrote my ex a letter few weeks back putting all my feelings in to it, everything that i was scared of everything this made me hide the truth from her, by the time i wrote it took me 3-4 hours (7 pages of A4 size pad)a very long letter in deed.

 

Telling her my faults, what i was scaed of, should of done things differently, putting all my heart and soul in to it.

 

Well one week later i get about 5 text messages on my phone two missed calls (no vioce messages left).

 

All reply's welcome...

Next day found another two text's saying that she's worried about me and that she still cares for me.

 

So the next day she called me again, but this time i picked up the phone, she was asking if i was ok, and that she was worried about me. I told her i could not talk about things like this on the phone and that i could only talk to her face to face. I told her i would meet up with her Tusday night after she finished work about 5-30 pm.

 

So Tuesday comes along and we go to a pub have a meal ( i paid), we talked about me and her, saying her what fault's i had, the resasons or being cold sometimes, looking in her eyes just talking straight from my heart.

 

We then went to another pub, talked loads more, talked how i felt about her, that i still loved her, at this point she was crying. Telling her that she is the only woman for me, and no matter what happens i'm her for her, she cried again. She told me about her fiance (the 20 yrd old kid, still at college) who likes to cut himself. She said if she left him he WOULD KILL HIMSELF. Hearing that got me so scared...

 

She told me if thing where simplier then, thing would be different. I don't know what that really means. She cried again (this night she did all the crying not me).

 

I told her about my gran wedding ring, which she gave it to my mum to give to me when i found the woman that i love and want to marry and to give it to her, she cried again.

 

At one point she she walked away crying, i stood behind her holding her saying don't cry, you know you love me, she said yeah, i then said don't worry i'm her for you, please don't cry.Which she cried some more.

 

I told her no matter what happeneds i'm here for you ok, which she replied yeah i know.

 

So we talked more, about how much she means to me, that she is the only woman that i will ever love this much, the only one that has stolen my heart.

 

I asked her you know that i love you, yes she said, i said you know i'm serious about. That i love you and i always will,yes she replied, at that point i was sitting down, she stood up and gave me a hug, i could hear her crying again. I hugged her back, saying i'm her for you girl, not matter what, i'm here for you.

 

She sat back down again, i put my hands out and she grabbed them both, and gave them a tight squeeze (does that mean anything?).

 

So we talked for about 5-6 hours we where both tired. We shared a taxi back to her place then dropping her of then my place, whilst the taxi was on her way to her place. she held my hand again.

 

Both said goodnight.

 

Where going to a pub first for a few bud's then off to a cinema (seeing Shrek 2) this saturday night, just as mates though. Then a pub after wards i hope for a chat and a bit of a dance. I've cut down on my drinking binge's...under control.

 

I'm so scared.. right now. Don't want to lose her, heart is racing right now.

 

Ps she's chatting to me on MSN, she always does the first contact/chat.

[Serendipity1607307077]

Sounds like you really are wanting to get back together with your girlfriend....

 

I am not sure what her intentions are, she seems to care about you a great deal... it's hard to tell what her intentions are....

 

Perhaps make clear your feelings about her... so that she knows that you don't want to lose her again..

 

Let me know how things are going!!!