I must know

[TrueTo]

Alright this is weird Im going on here but.

 

Im 20 and I feel in love with a 16 year old. No Im not intending to have sex with her Im not that dumb. I just want to have a relationshiop with her. I would wait until she is 18 for safty reasons but she might find someone by then...I dont know what to do.

[Sebulous]

I was in similar relationship. Perhaps get to know his/her parents. Let them see your a good person. Now that its over, i have mixed feelings for age gap problems. She was very mature but in the end, it was her childishness that kinda killed it. Sure she said she loved me, but was always flirting with other guys, older married guys too.

[TrueTo]

ya I know this girls parents pretty good and she to is really matuer for her age. Heck I dont even know if she likes me the same...lol her Iam 20 years old and Im acting like a highschooler over a 16 year old..man I feel pretty stupid. I just dont want to get 5-0ed

[aggiemaverick]

I would wait until she turns 18 at least. Girls that age a VERY inmature. If you are really in love with her it really should not be that much of a problem to wait since you are in love and plus later the relationship will have a better shot at working since she will have grown up

[TrueTo]

Iv though about doing that and I realise that is probly the best choice but Im scared she might find someone by then.

 

Well thanks for the help everyone. Iv never been very good at the girl stuff.

[June4life]

I'm 17 and my boyfriend is 20. I live in the state of NY and the penal law states that 17 is legal. In many states 18 is legal age, but good ol' NY its 17.

 

Anyway, at first my parents were a little nervous about me dating him. But when they got to know him, they loved him. My mom loved him even more when I told her he's a virgin just like me. These relationships can work! My mom was 14 when she started dating my dad, and he was 22!! They dated for 4 years until they got married. They're 8 years apart in age and have been happily married for 20 years.

 

Just take things slow. Start a great friendship and go from there!

[donefor79]

I dont know man, 16 year olds dont know what they want or need....she might say its cool now but lets say she gets hurt and runs to the parents, and next thing u know u are in jail doing twenty with bubba staring u down .... dont say u dont want to have sex with her either, u are attracted to her right??

[HappyFunnyFoo]

You run the risk of creating a beautiful, loving, caring friendship and relationship and then getting screwed over by her parents. If her parents seem even the least bit irrational about sex and dating (i.e., are extremely against any form of physical contact or are overprotective) be very wary, you may end up getting a broken heart or a Romeo and Juliet situation like mine. Again, any irrationality on behalf of the parents, plus any extreme religious convictions (I'll think twice about dating someone whose parents are strict interpreters of the Bible now, which is unfortunate, I thought that Christianity was about caring, openness, and compassion, and it's one of the main reasons this relationship is being assailed), will come into serious play if you're dating someone much younger than yourself for an extended period of time. Even if you swear to have no sex before marriage. This is excaberated if you're her first boyfriend. Simply understand this; she's under the control of her parents until she is 18.

 

If she's at the same level of you maturity-wise, thinks like you, you share at least one or two large common interests, and you share the same morals, I guarantee a great relationship will unfold. Age has little part to play in this aspect; usually it's when one partner is much less mature psychologically and intellectually due to age.

 

Then again, I'm no expert. I'm just talking based upon my limited experiences. Wish you luck.

 

-HappyFunnyFoo

[goddess23]

hey. first of all in defense of 16 year old girls (including moi lol), we're not ALL very immature. ill admit that most of them are, but im assuming you really know this girl if you love her. and the thing with age gaps is that maybe mentally she is very capable of having a successful realtionship with someone of your age, but its the responsibilities and lifestyles and parental restriction that could get in the way of an age differnece such as this. now as far as laws and stuff, thats something that you have to investiage depending on where you live, but this age gap is not too far fetched, and its totally possible to work this out. i think you should take it really slow though, you mentioned you're not really sure where you stand so take it slow, meet the parents, if you really like this girl the age diffence is workable. but you need to consider her lifestyle, her maturity and personality as well as yours.