I am but she's not

[Aika]

see... this could sound dumb..but for me it is a big problem T____T

i've had a girlfriend for 7 months now, im 17 and she's 20 and we really love each other, the more the time goes by, the more I love her... but, 6 months ago I discovered something about her, she had a boyfriend for 3 years, before another ex-boyfriend that i know.... I've had no other girlfriends before her, and i really feel like she's the one... she really makes me feel she loves me... but im a virgin, and she's not.. i can`t get that out of my head... i talked to her about it, but we didn't get to the bottom of it, because i didn't want to... im scared to loose her for something like that... yet, as time passes by, that thought comes back to my head... and now it is really hurting me.... don't know if I can take it anymore, in a beggining it wasn't so bad, but now I can't take it... i'm giving her something that she didn't save for me that's how I feel about it....

Now.. if anyone could tell me what you think about it plz tell me what should I do, i'd appreciate it .

[sparkler624]

hey. I know where you're coming from. I've felt the same way about one of my ex's. The thing is you can't change her past. She lost her virginity before she met you, she is three years older than you though. She's got more experience because she's had more of an opportunity. If you really love her and care for her you will just have to try and not let it bother you. I know it will be hard, but concentrate on the relationship you have with her now, she's out of her past relationships for a reason and with you now. Enjoy what you've got, if you let it take over it will consume you and it isn't healthy. Good luck and try to focus on the present!

[bruind]

if you say you really love her, try to forget about her past. its over, she's yours now. there are things more important for your relationship that you should focus on rather than worry about her past.

 

just my thoughts

[Aika]

well i guess you're right, i do love her a lot, so I'll try to let it go... though it'll be pretty hard...

 

i really appreciate your help.... but now i have another problem... could sound exagerated again, it's about her ex again...

 

see they're still good friends and talk a lot, I don't like that much, but well.. i respect her, however... i know for sure that the guy still want's her, told me himself.... on january she went ans stayed in his house for a week, and he lives 1800 miles away ... and now, i found out not by her, that he is coming to her place for a week now on August....

 

well... don't know what to think.. first the virginity issue and now the guy is coming back on the picture.... im kinda losing it.. O.o.. so.. again, tell what do you think of it, and advice me cause i don't know what to do.... [/i]

[Ryan]

im also 17 and I am in the same relationship you are. I have never even kissed a girl before my girlfriend who was wild and done so many things with other guys. All I do is think about the stuff she has done and I always bring it up and it is slowly deteriorating our relatioship. I feel the same way that I can't enjoy what I experience with her because she has experienced it with someone else and I have not. I also have not figured out what to do becuase I do love her but I don't think that I will ever get over her past. She also flirts a whole lot and is really nice to every guy she meets, which sort of irratates me. I feel for you though because I know exactly what your feeling. It feels like she cheated on you but she really hasnt she only experienced things with other guys..well thats how I feel at least and I have no Idea what to do about it if anyone has any input on our problems please help sorry I can't give any more help.

[aguilela]

hi i have a boyfriend and he is younger than i am we used to have same topic when we went out first time besides i was one of his teacher and he was my student's friend and i had a boyfriend who is also a teacher but somehow, i love that boy and he loves me...first 5months...it was so..hard...cuz..he coudln't countrol his feeling..even jealousy..to him i was the first girl..and first..sex too. he lied to me..like..i had few girls just one nite stand..i believed that but when we had a sex i could feel that it is his 1st time..but..i didnt' mention at all. cuz..may b ..i am older than him..i wanted to pretect him and..give him lov..and take care of him..that's wut woman's instict ...n..every time..when i met my male friends..he..was so angry..he sent even text to my friends usin my name...n he also knew my x-boyfriend..and..he was picturin...he and i ...somethin stuff...

my point is...`1st time..is the most scarest time..especially..about relatioship...and..girl is older...yeah.man..is nervous that situation..but u have to know onething is..woman..they r different from man..especailly to boyfriend..we dont' wanna make fun of boyfriend. older..that means we have experience..either good or not..when i met my boyfriend, i didn't wanna make any mistake so that i am able to have good and ..long healthy relationship...

so..don't b vervous and..picture about her past..it really hurts her heart as much as you've bn hurted ...

talk to her...she will listen very well and..also talk to her that it is my 1st time..i hope u r not disappoint of me...n your past bothers me a lot and hurts me a lot..but..u have experience..so..plz understand me ..n..if i make such a stupid mistake plz let me know..cuz..it's my 1st time..i donno many things..but..i really want to continue our relationship..

ok?

she would love it and love you even more...

that's how me and my boyfriend got over such a hard time..now.we have bn together more than 1 year and.now..i am in his country and we will get married...^^

i was so nervous and scared too..i even left my country for him..cuz..i dont' wanna make same mistake as b4...

so..that's your choice..nothin is easy..but after all..you can have happiness..so..i really hope you can do this..n..i really hope you and your love..will b fine..

bless you.

 

[slc333]

I'd be straight with her and tell her that it bothers you that she's having an ex-boyfriend come stay with her. That would bother just about any guy. Especially since you say this guy says he's still interested in her. That seems a bit disrespectful to me that she would have this ex stay in her house for a week. Maybe it's no big deal, but I know it would bother me too. Will she want you around during the time he is there? The good thing is this guy lives 1800 miles away. So maybe you can take his presense for a week. Easier said than done I know. Good luck.

[Aika]

thanks a lot for replying, see... I talked to her about the virginity problem, the thing went a little complicated in the beggining, cause I messed it up a bit by gettin a little mad and stuff, she got sad.. and told me it was all a mistake, that she has been trying to forget about all that, then, the next day I saw her and apologized for everything .. we're all good again, but... the truth is im still trying to let it go.. I don't feel any good about it.. and it gets even worst by the guy coming to her place...

 

the thing is, that I told her that it a real %=&$# for me the fact that this guy is staying in her house for a week... and well, she told me that she'll try to not let it happen.. like, stoping the whole thing... however, it's been like almost a month since that, and all she does about it is talk with him (as always) on the msn, all nice and stuff, talk about everything, and nothing to stop him from coming.. and we're on august already

 

so... don't really know what the hell.... I supusse i just won't mention anything and let this happen to see how it goes.. and what she does..and about staying around her... I think I'll stay a little away.. firts cause I don't wanna see the guy, and not more when she's with him o.O

and second... I trust her and I now she won't do anything, but sort of to show her i`m not happy about it, cause I told her about all this before and it seems she didn't listen, maybe she'll understand this way..

 

well, as before, thanks to everyone for your replys, and hope you can help again to see what I can do