Im just going to give up.

[ItsmeShane]

I should have listened to you guys when you told me to leave this girl alone. but like an idiot, i tried to talk to her and maintain a friendship but that is harder than not talking to her at all. I was at a baseball game yesterday and I couldn't even concentrate on it from thinking about her. We spoke for quite a while yesterday, and it was nice but it was really hard on me. She said she wanted me and her and some of her friends to get together, and I was wanting that to happen so bad but I don't think so anymore.

 

I have been asking the few friends that actually still talk to me about what I should do and I think they just candy coat everything to make me feel better. either that or they don't care to listen to what i have to say and just tell me "i don't know."

 

Im really tired of feeling like this. It sucks to see everyone around you happy and everyone always tell me the good times they have in their life and it makes me feel even worse. I can't seem to find happiness anywhere.

[emma34]

you are grieving, this is normal. it will get better.

 

Be strong!!

[DannyC]

All you can do is roll with the blows as they rain down on you Buddy. You have to accept eventually the way things ARE not the way you WANT them to be.

[ItsmeShane]

nothing works anymore. I mean, everything between me and her seems fine but she seems like her life is perfect. and i'm always upset. I find that here lately alcohol is the only thing i can turn to. I have my mom worried sick because there has been alcoholism in my family previously. So I do my best to hide it. which usually means taking it with me when I go hunting. Im sure that is a nightmare for her too. She probably worries herself sick that I may get out there and not make it home. I just don't know what to do anymore with my life. It all just seems like a big waste.