I dont care about anything anymore

[Moontiger]

I really do not know how to start this or where to put it. I’m not really looking for advice unless anyone else has felt this way. I think I mostly need to vent.

 

I don’t care anymore about anything. When I first realized this I thought I might be in a rut and just need something new in my life. However after thinking about it I realized I have felt this way for a long time.

 

The last time I remember being truly happy was back in 2008 when I graduated from the first college I attended. I transferred colleges (to pursue my 4 year degree) and become very depressed at my new school. I never really made any close friends even though I was there for two years. I didn’t even go to the graduation.

 

I have no interested in my high school friends anymore. They are all the exact same people they were back then. No one has changed.

 

I love my family but (for many reasons that I don’t want to get into here) it is emotionally and mentally taxing to have extended conversations with them. (I live far away so I don’t get to see them very often).

 

I am working a retail job that is about as intellectually stimulating as a soap dish. And, because I am working a lot I often feel to exhausted to pursue anything mentally stimulating.

 

I just don’t know what to do. I feel as though I will never be as happy as I was at my first college.

 

Thanks for reading my vent.

[Guest]

You are welcome. This read was quite interesting, and I can't express how exact this is to how I have been feeling all summer. My mother is probably the only person that I really care about. I don't have any friends, and I never really had a girlfriend. I personally am not religious, but I do believe in a God and am searching for him, other than that, nothing else really matters. I've been pretty depressed and I can get a lot of mood swings.

 

The only thing that has kept me on my feet or a suggestion I have is to find your passion, have you found that? I believe that is a true breaking point, perhaps you need to be inspired, what is your regular day like? Perhaps if you do a little exploration, (go on a trip, volunteer, learn something new), it might help. If you do believe in prayer, than make use of that too.

 

I hope this is helpful, and I am sorry you feel this way as I have myself.

[K.S.I]

I have been in a similar position until last month. For at least two years there was nothing, except that I was still able to feel compassion. But no real joy or worries, attraction etc. I had interesting jobs, i read magnificent books, but the feelings were simply not there. It was a very strange time, because generally i am a very emotional person.

 

And then one day last month it just changed. I cannot say I am in undergoing good times right now, but I savor every breath I take, because every feeling I missed in my life, both good and bad, is coming back to me.

 

i do not know the recipe for this, but I wanted to give you an example that change do comes. As always, when you least expect it.

[Moontiger]

Enzarto- I think your right about finding my “passion”, I remember having several at one point (pre-graduation from my first college). I have been considering checking out a local Unitarian Church to try and get me out of this funk I’m in. And I am very glad I am not the only one who has ever felt this way! I was feeling quite alone when writing that post. May I ask if you have found your passion in life?

 

K.I.S- What you said about feeling just not being there is EXACTLY how I have been feeling. Its like I go through the motions of what should be enjoyable…and nothing happens. Its good to know that someone out there has gotten through what I am going through.

 

Thanks for the responses. I really don’t feel so alone now.

[Guest]

This feeling isn't new, in fact, you are the same age as me. Do not just consider the church thing or anything you want, go forth and check it out, I can't stress the fact that everyday should be lived like it's your last. I wish I was 17 again and starting my education all over, I wouldn't have screwed up like I did.

 

I know my passion, but passion comes with discipline as well, and being able to do what it takes, to fulfill what you love is very important. I would make your passion something intangible like a concept, for example, my passion is art. Helping people can be rewarding, building, being creative, working out, whatever the case may be. Reason why I say intangible, is because those things can never die, walk away, or dump you haha.

 

Anyway, to answer your question I'll say I've found my passion however, it doesn't mean there will be down times, or disciplinary times. Hope this helps!