My partner has gone off kissing

[abraxys]

I have been with my partner for just about a year now. I must admit she is reluctant to be affectionate. But lately she has refused to let me kiss her on the lips, opting for the side of her face only. She does`nt like me kissing any part of her body, including her neck.

 

When I asked her why she doesn`t want my to kiss her, she appears to always come up with some excuse, i.e. she`s not in the mood, my breath smells (ok it does sometimes, but not ALL the time!!), she`s busy etc etc etc. Also it always seems that recently I`m the one looking for kisses, not her.

 

I sometimes wonder if she even still cares for me. She tells me she does but she has a strange way of showing it. If I didn`t trust her as much, I`d assume she was cheating on me, or is feeling guilty about something. So I wont talk about it. Even stranger, she has told me she can`t be bothered with sex. She went without for three years, before she met me. I have a large repetoire of foreplay techniques to thrill and excite her, as past girlfriends have found out, but she tells me she doesn`t want foreplay. She just wants sex. I`m getting bored, as I have a high sex drive and she has hardly any. I am loyal but she is trying my loyalty to the edge. As my best female friend once told me: If you don`t feel loved, of course your going to look elsewhere.

 

I don`t want to look elsewhere, but its like she`s driving me away. I still care about her, but am beginning to realise that this relationship is going nowhere quickly.

 

The main problem is that we have just moved into a joint rented flat together, giving up both our respective flats to live toghether. Where do I go? What do I do?

 

Yours, very, very confused

 

Abraxys

[AngelOfDarknes]

if cuzz she dosent want to kiss maybe shes shy and stuff, or maybe she has somekinda of religion that dosent let her kiss before the wed or whatever i heard of something like that, but not sure just take it easy its prob hard on her too, but if your gonna keep pushing her she might leave.

[brokenpogostick]

wow, well, there's certainly some major issues involved in all this....have you ever flat out asked her why she doesn't want your affection?

[Michael2]

Do you think there may be someone else in the picture?

[brokenpogostick]

that's really what it sounds like to me...otherwise if she was any normal woman with only one man in her life she'd be livin that attention up! i know i would! maybe you should find a woman that would be more appreciative of your actions and talents

[abraxys]

She was troubled in the early stages of our relationship by a crush on her female lecturer. So much so that she once told me that she loved her more than she loved me. She left college because it was driving her insane, and that it was destroying our relationship, to the point she wanted to dump me so she could go back to college and see the lecturer again.

Now she blows hot and cold. Right now its luke warm. There`s times when she is very affectionate, I REALLY enjoy it when she`s like that. Other times though she doesn`t want me to even touch her. Its weird!!

 

I don`t know about much about this, but we haven`t been sexually intimate i.e. sensual massage, french kissing, cuddling, etc in well over 2 months now. When I try to be romantic i.e. flowers, chocolates, cook a nice meal etc, she tells me she`s not in the mood, which puts me off going to as much trouble just for her again. If that makes any sense.

 

I`m getting bored and frustrated. She`s really pushing the limit on how much I care about her.

 

Oh, she doesn`t like to be affectionate as her last few boyfriends were VERY withdrawn, thinking about themselves only. Does this justify the way she treats me???? I just don`t know.

 

Please help!!

[cabralsoth]

before i got to your last post i was gonna say maybe she likes woman, now that i read your last post i am almost sure of it...lol... cmon she prolly thinks she wants to be with a man, but she really doesnt find them attractive, you may be nothing more than a tool for her, and your prolly really nice too i bet so why not keep you around, have you met her parents? if so maybe they like you to and she is keeping you around for that reason... you know, you may be the kind of guy a girl can bring home to mom...

[JinG]

To me, it sounds like that shes either les, cheating on you, or doesnt like you anymore. I think if you cant take this anymore, just move on and find someone else

[abraxys]

Have already met her mom and dad. They both get on alright with me. She doesn`t like my dad and mom though. She deliberately wont go round to their house if offered.

 

I don`t know if this relationship is actually going anywhere but I guess my girlfriend and I could just stay friends until I move abroad in 2006, hopefully. The only problem is gonna be that we still sleep together but dont have sex.

 

What if I am in need of a good session? Haven`t decided yet.

[lonleybleeder]

try really really talking to her and telling her it really bothers you

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[Erika4404]

It obvious she into women more then men get the hint i would just move on if her actions just change she could also just be using you for a sunggle bunny. I would talk to her and if she dosn't give you a sraght answer leave her

[abraxys]

She has been very affectionate with me lately. Still very little sex though, I`m lucky if I get once a month. I do care about her loads. I have been helping her get back to college to do higher grades so she can go to university.

She appreciates this but again doesn`t seem interested in a sexual relationship. We sleep together, cuddle in at night together, enjoy pillow talk, but just don`t get jiggy!!

I feel sadness in bed and happiness when I`m around her, as she is loving and caring outside of the bedroom!!