Friend Under stress needs Conginitive therapy to Keep people from leaving him.

[rustyschackelf]

First of all i just want to say how much i like this site. Until I found it i had no place to go for relationship advice. Can i just say thank you in advance for any advice. Kristopher my friend is causing a problem for me. The thing is that i am reluctant to being it up to him. He can be kind of sensative at times. Everything he does just seems to upset most of the people around him. Most of the time he is just selfish and inconsiderate. On one occasion he even punched his own brother. Doing this caused alot of people to stop talking to him. Everyone except for me has stopped talking to him. Right now I feel like I'm the only friend he has left. At the moment though i am considerating ceasing our friendship. The thing is though I don't want to abandon him. Or i am thinking I could try to get him to see a counselour. Right now i don't think he will go for it unless i can really convince him. So what do you all think I should say to him? * *

[Subtle]

If he doesn't have the motivation to go, and doesnt see his behavior as a problem, I don't think he will go. Even if he did go reluctantly, he needs to be open to counseling and changing emotionally. Self improvement is tough for a lot of people; its easier for some people to be stuck in there ways.

 

Do you know why he might be acting this way? Sometimes we may know half of the story to certain problems, and not know why they occur.

 

Its best to get some information by asking first, but in an understandable manner. As sensitive as he is, he may assume you'll use it against him (I can be quite sensitive too, and I've assumed the same). Then consider counseling.

 

But don't be upset if he doesn't consider what you've given him, or if he doesn't share his problems. You can only do so much for people, and its mentally exhausting to try to change people who don't want it.

 

Forgot to add...

 

If speaking with a counselor doesn't work out so well, I'm a strong believer in self help. There are several CBT / Self Improvement books on link removed I believe.

[catfeeder]

You can't spare a friend from himself, that's his job. Sticking around someone who's abusive doesn't do him any favors and it jeopardizes you. The only way to teach someone that his behavior is unacceptable is to walk away and not accept it. Whether he opts to consider that message and make changes is up to him.