Definition of ALONE time??

[Lil R]

Please don't judge the relationship...I'm just in need of some advice...

 

So I've been dating my boyfriend for 6months now...were quite close, I've bonded with his 3 sisters i'm right in there with the family..I cook for his dad clean the house blah blah blah..

 

The only reason I'm at his alot is because he 1. stil lives at home (but in a big house so we have our space)

 

2. His sisters like hanging out with me

 

3. His neices and nephews come over every weekend so I like him to spend time with his family so of course we see eachother every weekend but we end up hanging out at home.

 

 

Anyway to the point! I had a car accident near his house so i was waiting for my courtsey car since my flat is very far away from his house...and i've been at his house for 4 days spending time with his sister majority of the time.

He comes home from work..i cook...we eat together...he goes upstairs to the games room and hangs out with his friends while i ethier hang out in his sisters bedroom or watch tv in his...now i dont mind because i know he needs space and i'm only there because i'm waiting for my damaged car to get picked up.

 

Now on firday we arranged to go out but hes cancelled on me because he has a friends thing...im fine my world has not come to an end...but he arranged that hes going to be in the same area as me so he'll pick me up from the club and we'll go home together.

 

For some reason i got a off vibe from him today so i said listen on firday you go out with the boys dont worry if you want alone time i'll get a cab to my house, He comes back with...'alone time would be great but i dont want you travelling by yoursef'

 

me 'I'm an adult i can take a cab by myself dont worry about it il text you when i get home'

 

him 'No dont worry I want to see you plus I'l be worried that your in the cab by youself'

 

me 'seriously you want alone time you have it, il be fine il call you if u want when your in the cab.'

 

him 'no baby i do want to see you'

 

Now i dont feel comfortable going around his house when I feel he doesn't want to see me but just feels bad me going home in a cab. But I dont want a boyfriend who only does stuff for me just because they feel bad because its kind of fake isnt it?

 

Advice? or am i being stupid?

[-Sanguine-]

It sounds like he wants to pick you up after. I would just let him, to be honest. Doesn't seem like too big of a deal.

[Nidania]

My boyfriend and I talked about alone time before. We both enjoy it. It is just time where we can do as we please without having to worry about anyone else.

 

You don't need to feel uncomfortable going round. This all sounds perfectly normal to me.

[geekgirl4]

He seemed pretty insistent about seeing you home, so I would have just gone with it. It's nice of you to offer but if you keep pushing it, then it ends up making you seem like the person who doesn't want to spend time with him. Granted there are moments when we want to do something else but instead use that time for our significant other. It's not making him do things against his will, it just means he sees you as more worthwhile, even if he really wanted to do that other thing. Also, it might have felt off, but it might not have been about you. Maybe he's having troubles with family or with friends or something. Don't jump too quickly into thinking its you. It might effect you because his mood isn't so good, but it doesn't mean it stems from you. Next time, calmly ask if anything is wrong and if there's anything you can do to help. Give him a safe space to talk.