broke no contact

[ukdame]

I'm kicking myself for breaking no contact. He basically held the power in the relationship and was really controlling, verbally abusive. I finally got the courage to quit playing and after the breakup ignored him trying to bait me into a reaction.

 

2 weeks ago I finally answered the phone when he called. It was hard for me to ignore him for 3 months and I was finally getting over him, so it was stupid to answer. He of course ended up being very rude then just dropped my stuff off at my apartment with a note going on about his new girlfriend and how I'd misunderstood why he called - (he called 5 or 6 times over 3 mo's).

 

Did I just hand him his power back on a platter? How do I move on when now he won't call again? Did all of my no contact mean nothing? Why do I still miss him when he was abusive? Did he perhaps actually feel bad (he keeps saying sorry, I wish you well - good luck in all things, it's not what you think, etc). Was I too nice when I text him back "take care"? I just hate having gone through that just for him to know I still care for him (because I got angry with him about his intentions for calling).

[baxxter]

Did you go NC to get over him, or you did it to see if he'll react?

 

NC is for yourself to heal. Your ex will NEVER react the way you want him to, so thinking about him now would be waste of your precious time. I know it feels like you regressed, but you succeeded to move forward while doing 3 months NC, just go back doing NC, ignore him or thoughts of him, and concentrate on healing you.

 

Who is going to look after you if you don't? Please feel better soon, you are moving on. You are!

 

Good luck x

[Crazyaboutdogs]

You got your stuff back..so who care what he thinks. Do you think a normal person of sound mind would drop his ex's stuff off and then taunt her like he did. This guy doesn't have both oars in the water...so you didn't give him any control at all because this guy's actions show that he is completely out of control. Someone who is abusive and taunting is someone who is insecure and a total mess. I actually feel sorry for his new girlfriend.

[ukdame]

wow. I've been mulling this over in my head so much and the advice from both of you really made sense.. thank you!