Think I should ask her out? Advice?

[LonelyJedi]

I met this new girl at my work, I like her a lot. She is extremely mature, we share the same morals (no smoking, drinking, drugs, sex after marriage, etc). She is pretty cute too. Just recently, we have been txting during the day (when we aren't at work) and calling each other at night. I always make her laugh, and she said that I am "prbly her funniest friend". Then she told me a few days ago that I was her best friend. But I don't know if she means it as: "You are like my best friend...we should date" or as "You are my best FRIEND".

 

Long story short of my ex: She is wishy-washy about her feelings, and she misses me a lot and loves me. However, some days she wants me and some days she just likes us as friends.

 

All my friends are telling me to ask out the new girl. I really would like to, but I fear that if she says no, I won't have anybody to fall back to and I'll return to the search.

[Clarity]

I fear that if she says no, I won't have anybody to fall back to and I'll return to the search.

 

So what you're saying is you're satisfied with just being her friend? If the answer is no (and I assume it is), then you don't really have anything satisfactory to fall back on, do you?

[Stay_home]

You know you really don't have anything to lose. Really. What's the worse that could happen if she says no? You're not going to get fired from your job. You're not going to lose anything except one less person in the world that you know doesn't like you so at least you know that you can move forward and on to somebody else. I wish I was thinking more like that when I was out and trying to meet the world. I was mad shy and I didn't take rejection well so one rejection felt like the whole world had told me 'no,' and you'll never get ahead with an attitude like that. This life and it's successes are all about resilience. Everybody has a success story of some merit that they can share. And if it ain't about some women it might be about their life or how they overcame something. Either way, it took a lot of hardwork to get there. They've had to crawl before they could walk, they had to walk before they could run and they've had to run before they could run like the wind. When you really look at the odds of it, 1/348346945 women in the world, what do you have to lose? So what, tomorrow she says no... 2/348346945. Ok, so you got a lot long way to go before you should let rejection get the better of you.

[LonelyJedi]

So what you're saying is you're satisfied with just being her friend? If the answer is no (and I assume it is), then you don't really have anything satisfactory to fall back on, do you?

 

No, what I mean is: If I ask her out, and she says no. She might think I'm a creep or something and might back away from me entirely. It has happened before, so I guess what I'm asking for is advice on whether I should ask her out now, or wait until I get more evidence that she shares my same feelings.

[Clarity]

No, what I mean is: If I ask her out, and she says no. She might think I'm a creep or something and might back away from me entirely. It has happened before, so I guess what I'm asking for is advice on whether I should ask her out now, or wait until I get more evidence that she shares my same feelings.

 

My question still stands. So what if she doesn't like you and backs away? If she likes you just as a friend, are you satisfied being *just* friends while she dates other guys? I think not, that's why you have nothing to lose by asking her.

 

She either likes you in that way or not, waiting around is not going to change that.

[wlh22]

totally agree with Clarity

 

and regarding your ex... its not healthy to be in a on-off thing... for you...