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how long do i wait


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hi all


my boyfriend n i have been together for over 4 years.. even planning to get married. BUT his parents are yet to know about me. They're strict pakistanis n believe in the whole 'marry your cousin that we choose for you from Pakistan' thing. he's gone against that (oobviously). They would be ok if he chose a Pakistani girl.. but i'm mauritian. we're both muslim n his family know mine n know we're a good family. So as far as i can see i think we can work it out with them once he tells them.


He's too scared to tell them thou.. he thinks they'll out right refuse to let us get married or even kick him out of the house. While I understand his fears n dont like to pressure him.. I keep thinking that if he wants to marry me then he has to tell them sometime right? I tried to leave him before because it was all too much for me.. but we couldnt be apart. we love eachother too much. Lately i've been really frustrated n wanting to find a way of jus telling his parents.. via letter, email.. anything. I know its probably not the best idea with them being so traditional n all.. bt my frustration is getting the better of me. How long do i wait until i do something to make sure they know?

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when you both are ready. honestly he might be afraid the fact also that he kept that secret from them for a long time... what four years? so talk to him about it. tell him how important it is to you and that we should try and work something out.

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Thanks for ur reply. I hear what ure saying, n believe me i have tried that. I cant even remember the amount of times i've tried talking to him. i either get dismissed by him saying its not the right time, or he tells me he will think of a way very soon n do it, n like a fool i believe him. I dont like to be pushy, but if he wants to be getting married this time this year, shouldnt he tell them? I mean, our culture requires us to have permission from both parents. My parents have already given us their blessing, but we're stuck until he tells his.


I have been accused of being not understanding by him before.. but i think keeping quiet for over 4 years when i've had countless oppurtunities to tell is a pretty good indication that i have been understanding dnt u think. my heart tells me to trust him, but my mind says he might do what his brothers did n ditch me when his parents say no. so thats why i just want him to tell them so i know where i stand

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