Is this normal in a LDR?

[Irishguy1125]

My girlfriend and I have been dating for about three months, jumped right into the relationship right before the semester ended at college. Things were amazing while we were together at school but things started to slow down in our relationship late june/early july and she tells me last week she feels guilty she hasn't been attentive to our relationship and doesn't feel like we are a couple. So we decide to take a break I guess and slow things down and take pressure off the relationship and just be "friends" until we get back to school in a few weeks and try to pick things back up. I have been No Contact since that convo last friday just to give myself space and her space to think about things, do you think this will help or hurt us because she was telling me she wasn't sure how she felt about me anymore.

 

Any advice??

[Esteller]

im in a similar situation i want to message her becuase i don't want her to think im ignoring her or i don't care about her but i reality if i didn't care i would be messaging her not respecting the space she wants. i dont know honestly what will happen but i hope that things work out you know. just like your thinking. best to continue the NC until she is ready to talk. im in a LDR too. so we are on the same boat

[Cognitive_Canine]

I'd have some sort of agreement that you won't be messing around with other people just because you're on break.

[-Sanguine-]

I'd have some sort of agreement that you won't be messing around with other people just because you're on break.

 

Yeah, I agree with this for sure.

[abitbroken]

It is different if you have been going together for a year and then go on break versus if the relationship is new. Being friends is probably a good move if you were still in the "getting to know you stage" and then to start again at school. But I would start setting the stage for the next semester and start being more attentive. I know there is a distance, but have you visited her town at all? What about sending flowers? Maybe people would think that's a bit much, but you get the idea. But it might be too little too late if you didn't do that all summer long. You might not have had enough to go on before school ended. But if you just want to go with the flow, go with the flow to see if you are going to be together or not. But if she told you she needed to think, give her time but on the other hand, this NC has a deadline because you are going back to school, so if you decide you really want to be with her when school starts, you have to make it known.

[Cognitive_Canine]

For the record, if I just started a relationship a few weeks before having to move hundreds of miles away from each other, I'd be okay with waiting until they get back to get serious. I'd be really diligent about not getting too emotionally attached during this time frame too.

 

And, I'd for sure add a clause in the verbal contract of what defines "a break" as not hooking up with other people while you are apart. I, personally, do not think I can handle that once I'm even slightly emotionally invested in someone. Plus, I'd get a "you're on the back burner" feeling that they only want to be with me when it's convenient for them.

[Irishguy1125]

Well we both go to school in GA, she has been in FL all summer working and hasn't been home, I have been working and been unable to visit her due to me working weekdays and her working weekends. I mean I am fine with the break because it takes the pressure off being long distance and having to force ourselves to be something we might not be yet. She comes back to GA in 2 weeks and I really am not sure whether I should make an effort to contact her first since she initiated the conversation of us slowing things down in the first place. Some people tell me I should just send her a quick text saying "Hi, hope you are doing well" kind of thing. Should I make it known that I really want to be with her when she comes home and do it in person or do you think two weeks is too long?