NC Rule - What if he calls?

[ty096]

Hi guys, I'm about to embark on the NC rule for about one month. My ex and I broke up a fortnight ago for reasons of an unhealthy relationship and need of personal growth. Since then we've been talking all the time (which really doesn't help) and I actually went to his place to help him with stuff for 2 days in a row. Yikes. ](*,) Last night we talked about getting back together and needless to say I think I put pressure on him. He still has feelings for me but said he wasn't ready yet. He said he felt free after the break up, and wanted some time apart. So OKAY I'm going to give that to him - one month of NC here I come. I have to keep reminding myself that he cannot miss me if I'm still always there.

 

What if he contacts you however? Are you meant to NOT pick up? Or does NC rule mean you just cannot initiate contact yourself?

 

THANKS!

[Jetta]

Really NC is about healing not getting back together. But you're right he can't miss you if you're around all the time. If he were to call and you were still interested in him, take the call. If you've moved on and no longer want to speak to him, then you're not home, unavailable, etc.

[ForumGuy]

I've come to the conclusion, after going NC 4 times now only to have my ex get ahold of me and me answer everytime, that going LC is best. I think this is the right acronym. What I mean is that any contact must be initiated by her. The first few times when she would break NC, I would start calling her and it got me nowhere but farther in the rut of feeling bad about myself.

 

Going along the lines with what Jetta wrote, I would suggest answering if you are still interested, but don't initiate any contact yourself, even after he has contacted you.

[ty096]

Thanks for the replies! I've been meaning to ask someone, what does LC stand for?

[ForumGuy]

Pretty sure it's "limited contact".....meaning you only contact if they initiate. I'm going to put it in the "advanced search" just to be sure.

 

Well looks like "only when they initiate" is referred to as NIC, while LC is limited, light, or low contact. I would go NIC if I were you.

[marshmallito]

NC= No Contact

Ignoring or blocking contact from them and making none of your own

NIC= Not Initiating Contact

Allowing contact if it is initiated by the ex

LC= low contact

Not too much communication, and initiating sometimes.

 

I am trying to go LC at the moment but struggling.