I don't know what the heck is wrong with me..............

[rollingalong]

I'm 27.........still have barely gone on like 3 dates in my entire life. I am so reserved around guys. I totally back off when they're interested in me. I'm so flippin scared of someone "liking me". I build up all this anxiety when it comes to dating or getting to know someone.

I finally gave into signing up for eharmony. I have responded to request's for communication, but I'm such a wuss, I can't begin communication on my own. I still feel like I'm going to flake out when it comes to meeting anyone.

I'm not unattractive or an odd ball. I guess I just start thinking too much and then psych myself out.

I'll stop blabbing away. I just feel like I'm getting older and more like the only person in the world at my age, to never have had a boyfriend.

[15 Storeys High]

Can you pinpoint what it is that scares you so much? Are you confident in yourself?

[luminousone]

There are so many shy/reserved people in this world, so you are definitely not alone.

 

I wonder if you could get to know men in some group situations (like a hiking club, church group, science club, book club, computer club, engineering club, environment "green" club etc.) then maybe it would be easier to get to know someone as friends.

 

Also, what if your friends got some group things going and just invited a bunch of singles to it and you start getting a social network in place. Then the attention and the heat is off of you, it is just doing things with friends and acquaintances and having fun!

 

Then I think that leaves the possibility of things progressing more naturally.

 

And let people know that you are shy. If you say that off the bat when you meet people you might be surprised how that might break the ice. At the very least it will let them know that the reason you are quiet/reserved is because you are shy and not because you are rejecting them!

[Coupe]

I'm 27.........still have barely gone on like 3 dates in my entire life. I am so reserved around guys. I totally back off when they're interested in me. I'm so flippin scared of someone "liking me". I build up all this anxiety when it comes to dating or getting to know someone.

I finally gave into signing up for eharmony. I have responded to request's for communication, but I'm such a wuss, I can't begin communication on my own. I still feel like I'm going to flake out when it comes to meeting anyone.

I'm not unattractive or an odd ball. I guess I just start thinking too much and then psych myself out.

I'll stop blabbing away. I just feel like I'm getting older and more like the only person in the world at my age, to never have had a boyfriend.

 

Hey,

 

I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone at all! I have met a few women who haven't dated up to their early 30s and ended up marrying happily! Life is weird like that. The more you're mean to yourself and think things like "you're a wuss" you hurt yourself and lower your chances for success.

 

You're not unattractive or an oddball, but from the sounds of it you are just not finding the time/motivation to jump into a relationship. This seems to be very common nowadays in many social circles.

 

I'm no expert but I would recommend you stop creating 'expectations' and stop setting the stage for a failure (e.g. assuming you'll flake out or have a bad date).

 

Approach it with an open mind with no real expectation! This way even if the date is less than stellar it's nothing but some experience under your belt.

 

Best of luck.