BOYFRIEND VS. BESTFRIEND

[bruind]

ok heres the story..

 

sometime ago, my bf (A) now was just an acquaintance i met in one of the chat rooms. we still doesnt have a thing going on. my guy bestfriend (B) played a little joke on him. B pretended to be me, and asked A some guy's names. A got jealous because of this. when i got back, i told A that it wasnt me chattin with but my bestfriend (B). he got mad, said we made a fool of him. i took B's side, and told A that i ddnt know anything about those guys, and besides, it was just a harmless thing. we were able to fix it up between us.

 

since then, A had always been jealous of B. although B know nothing about it. after that incident, A had always despised B. and whenever i talk aboud B, A would always get so mad and jealous. so i sacrifced my friendship with B so as not to create any more conflicts between though. although B doesnt notice that i as kinda avoiding him. whenevr he's around, i pretend that im not avoiding him, but whenevr im with my bf, i always tell him that i dont talk to my bestfriend anymore, though i sometimes do. (mainly because i cant expalin to B why i cant talk to him, plus, B has always been so close to my family, and A isnt.)

 

usually whenever we fight, my boyfriend would always bring that topic up. he would always throw at mt face that i sided with my bestfriend and not with him. even though it was my bestfriend who was on the wrong side. and i can never convince him to stop talking about it. he would always get so jealous and mad. (also partly because i have told him that my bestfriend used to neglect me in the past, yet i still dont abandon our friensdhip.)

 

now, what i want are some advice from u guys here on what i should do so my boyfriend wouldnt be so mad at my bestfriend. what should i do or tell him to assure him that he's more important to me than my bestfriend.

how am i gonna convince him (A) that what we (me & B) had was purely platonic, and nothing more than that, even before we became a couple. how can i make him (A) stop bringing up this topic wenevr he gets mad at me.

 

sorry, this is kinda long.

thanks in advance

[kuhl282000]

Hello

 

It sounds to me that allot of head games are going on. And games for anybody is hard enough to figure out. I would suggest you tell him the "truth" as to how you really feel about him. Tell him how much you really care, I'll bet he will like hearing that. That should hopefully change a few of your concerns. The rest he will forget as time goes on.

 

 

Good Luck

 

Kuhl

 

8) 8)

[ltensail]

Actually, I'm kinda like A in my current life situation. Though B didn't pretended to be my gf* and chatted with me. In fact, my gf* keeps on mentioning B to me. I'll also get mad and jealous.

 

But that's in the past. Recently, what my gf* did was, she asked me what I am jealous about and she told me why she is so close to B(e.g. B's good personalities,she feel comfortable with B). and the way she showed care and concern, hoping to help me end my jealousy makes me feel that my relationship between her and me is not as bad as B and her's.

 

Show him that you really wanna help me solve his problems. Ask, ask and ask.

 

My first time helping people to solve problem. Pardon me.

 

*in fact, she is not my gf but just a girl i like and i'm dating her.

since u both are bf and gf, i'm sure your relationship are more steady than ours, so when i can get out of the jealous life, u both, too, can.

 

Best of luck. Keep us updated!

[bruind]

one more thing...

 

my bestfriend(B) doesnt know that my bf (A) and i are still together. cause B was acting like my mum's spy against me and A. thereforeeee, i couldnt tell B that A gets so jealous of him and that A despises him.

 

on the other hand, i couldnt tell my bf that im still in touch with my bestfriend cause he really gets mad. so whenever A asks, i just tell him that i dont talk to B anymore. i was lying, yet i couldnt help it, B was my friend long beofre my bf came. and i really cnt tell B about that issue cause he'll find out that A and i are still together, B's gonna tell my mum.

 

so B is stuck in an issue between him and A, yet he knows nothing about that issue.

 

how am i gonna tell my bf that i still talk to my bestfriend. he'll be so mad and jealous, he'll think i betrayed him. he feels like im cheating on him whenevr i talk to my bestfriend. what do i do

[slc333]

Maybe you should try finding a girlfriend you can talk to and have fun with. If you insist on hanging out with another guy, chatting on the Internet, etc., of course your boyfriend is going to be a little jealous. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out.

 

You need to 1) Start making a few good friends of your own gender or 2) find a boyfriend that doesn't get jealous of you having a best friend that's a guy. Good luck on that one.

 

Don't be naieve. It's okay to have some guy friends. But when you start having guys that are "best friends" and having a boyfriend at the same time, I know from experience that does not work.

 

In my opinion, your boyfriend should be your best friend. Otherwise, there will always be jealousy. Think about it. It is impossible to grow a relationship with a boyfriend if you're constantly depending on support from another guy who is your supposed "bestfirend". Your relationship will go nowhere if you don't figure out how to let one of them go at least a little bit.

 

Otherwise, you'll drive yourself and everyone else involved crazy.

[langall]

Just remember boyfriends and girlfriends come and go yer they do bring u pleasure but i best friend is harder to get and they stick wid u longer than a gf/bf but dont totally forget them cuz u got to have some fun

 

~*~scott~*~