Does Sex Always Die Down Considerably in Long Term Relationships

[Lady Rashomon]

Really? I mean REALLY????

 

Once a week is far to little for how good it feels. I have seen guys give up great jobs/careers for dope but never sex! Tell him to quit the drinking and stop smoking dope and get his high from you. This is about priorities and it sounds like he wants to smoke dope, eat twinkies and wash them down a beer more than being intimate with you. Very sad.

It sounds like you are trying but he isn't biting. Please don't betray him again. Divorce him and find someone that meets your sexual and emotional needs before you turn to that again.

You did say at LEAST 4 times a week didn't you? LOL Man he has no idea how lucky he is.

 

Lost

 

Thanks for your response. Yes, I definitely tried over the years, from day one. Sex hasn't been the largest problem in our marriage--I think it's a symptom of other things, like his addictions. I actually thought I could live with it for a while--you know, fuel my sex drive into other endeavors--but it had something of a deadening effect on me. Now, since the affair, we are definitely having sex more often (maybe one to three times a month, which is actually a record), and it's pretty good. But it always takes a lot of effort to get to that point. I certainly have no intention of betraying him ever again, but living like this is quite taxing. And to think about living like this for the next 40-50 years...even worse.

 

I don't see much hope in getting him to quit drinking or smoking. He's a recreational drug user and he's actually quite functional when he's on it--enough of a reason to convince him that it isn't a problem. We've had plenty of conversations about it (not just regarding the impact on his health and sex drive, but also on the fact that it physically repulses me), but truthfully, I don't see this as something that will change.

[The Archer]

I’ve always thought the person with the lower libido needs to make the effort to satisfy the partner with the higher libido.

Putting in a little extra physical effort in each day is no big deal. Being rejected sexually on a regular basis is a very big deal.

 

I’m fortunate the women (bar one) I’ve been with have all either had a similar sex drive or a higher sex drive. My last partner wanted it three times a day. There’s no way I could have satisfied her through intercourse three times a day but there are other ways. Oral sex, using my hands etc.

 

Keeping someone happy sexually is just a basic relationship skill. I don’t think I could last long in a relationship with someone who was selfish sexually or thought they shouldn’t put some effort in just because their already sexually satisfied. Attitude is so important.

 

As for a persons sex drive lowering with time in the same relationship…. It’s just the opposite for me. The longer I’m with the same person the better it gets. It takes time to figure out what each person likes sexually. I would generally have a lot of trouble climaxing on the first night with a new partner but after 6 months of regular sex (in a committed relationship) she’d just have to walk in the room and my body would respond. This is always the same with every women I’ve been with.

 

Most people I speak to say the same thing: Sex gets better with time.

[Lady Rashomon]

Ah, if only my husband were like you...

[doityourself]

I’ve always thought the person with the lower libido needs to make the effort to satisfy the partner with the higher libido.

Putting in a little extra physical effort in each day is no big deal. Being rejected sexually on a regular basis is a very big deal.

 

The longer I’m with the same person the better it gets. It takes time to figure out what each person likes sexually.

 

Most people I speak to say the same thing: Sex gets better with time.

 

I agree, I enjoy sex now more than I ever have, we can get a little creative and not feel embarrassed. I dont have to guess if he wants it, I know by looks or touch. I also know by touches what type of sex he wants that night.

 

And just like Archer said after a while you are able to understand and know what eachother likes or wants.

[lana111]

not for me, although the longest i was with someone was 6 years. i think as long as you communicate what you want, youll be good.