Nervous about him being nervous

[bebeblondie]

I am being set up on a date, it's not really a blind date because we actually met, last week at a mutual friend's bbq, but I was only there dropping something off, so we just exchanged a "hello" basically.

 

He called me today to ask me out to dinner, I know it took him a while to call but believe me from the sound of him, it sounds like it took him all week to work up the nerve to call. Anyway I told him sometime next week would be good for me, since I have two parties this weekend.

 

The guy sounds so nervous (and not that cute nervous where it's endearing) it took him about two minutes between the "uhhs" and "oohhs" to get each sentence out. Now I can be a bit nervous to when meeting someone new, but this just seems a bit extreme to me. He did say he hasn't dated in a pretty long time (he's 38, I'm 28 ). I kind of feel funny backing out of a date over this, since I'm hoping with time (if something comes out of this) his nerves will calm down. Plus the mutual friend who introduced us, raves about what a great guy he is.

 

On a side note he is a heavy guy (think Kevin James from "King of Queens") but still very good looking, he has a very handsome face. So perhaps this might be the reason he's so nervous and not overly confident.

 

Im a bit shy myself, so my question is what would be the best way to calm his nerves when we go out?

[peanutbutterandjelly]

it sounds like he must realllllllly want to get to know you if he is THAT nervous and shy and still had the guys to call you and ask you to dinner. Honestly, he might have confidence issues because of the weight thing. Also the age difference. Maybe in his head, he was positive you were going to reject him which is why he was so nervous to to call you. Maybe now that he knows you are interested and have accepted the date, he might lighten up a bit.

 

first dates are always nervewracking. Just try to keep it light and fun. It's okay to tell the other person, "hey ive never done this before either" or "im a little nervous too". It's really to be expected and if you can laugh at it and lighten up the mood a bit, it will help.

[bebeblondie]

I think it might also have something to do with him telling me he hasn't dated in a long time. I just hope he can calm his nerves a bit because I hate saying this but it's a bit off putting.

[gixxerdude]

He'll probably calm down after the usual first date anxiety..give him a chance.

 

He is 38, you are 28. I wouldn't underestimate that little detail.

[bebeblondie]

He'll probably calm down after the usual first date anxiety..give him a chance.

 

He is 38, you are 28. I wouldn't underestimate that little detail.

 

To be honest I'm not even sure if he's aware of my age and he looks very young...when I first saw him I thought he was younger than me.

[gixxerdude]

To be honest I'm not even sure if he's aware of my age and he looks very young...when I first saw him I thought he was younger than me.

 

 

Are you are looking for someone confident? If you are nervous about the date because he is being nervous....shyness is a turnoff to some people.

 

Thats about the extent of my psych analysis ability.

 

If all else fails, go somewhere with him and get smashed. *Thumbs up*

[easyguy]

Maybe the ice needs to be broken. Some laughs , flirts , something to shatter the tension. First dates can be nerve-wracking , but humor for me tends to be what pierces through that layer and makes things more chill (or less frozen , whatever).