after 2 weeks on a break its over, her binge drinking, family problems and and argument

[ectomia2000]

ok im going to put some things on writing as its breaking me inside.

 

2weeks ago my ldr gf stopped contact with me and has been binge drinking ever since through depression and family issues. I told her i understand its a problem and am there for her if she needs me. shes hardly been in contact but when ever we do she seems to snap at me and say she needs to do it alone. she says we just go over and over the same ground.

 

Ive been with her for 2 months and known her for 6months. we always used to talk about problems and spoke every day since ive known her. on the week up to the break in her talking i had been working solidly on some stuff for my business, but was always talking to her on webcam, and calls/txts.

we shared everything emails and messages etc. I had accidentally logged on to her sign on on msn and saw there was a number of emails from some chat site. i didnt think anything of it and logged out, but told her out of honesty and asked her about it. seems she has been bottling up "problems" and this is the result but...

she has been going out getting drunk every night it see"ms for the past 2 1/2 weeks. her excuse is that its the only thing making her happy".

now in this minimal contact stage i contacted her mother who she had only since being with me started to reconcile the relationship with (this was broken when her ex treated her like the preverbial) and shes told me its the opposite of what my gf tells me. some of the stories just dont match up etc.

 

i did at one point beg and plee to her in hope that she can see what shes doing, but at same time see that shes in need. she keeps saying shes going to get help etc professionally, but just turns to the drink and partying. I have no problems with her going out and her mates, as long as shes safe and i told her that. she has been very distant and shows little if no emotion, not unless i seem to initiate it 1st.

she just feels everyone is against her (familywise) which isnt true.

I wrote her a letter which ive never done before in my life explaining how i feel and wish she was ok, shes ademant that she didnt get it ( i now suspect her mother has hidden it etc)

Her mother is Bipolar 2 and quite bad. but at same time she tells me she just wants her mum there for her but is not getting it. everything is getting to her and she doesnt want the complication of a relationship atm. which is understandable.

 

yesterday we were chatting on the phone and an argument kicked off as she took everything i said the wrong way. in haist i said some nasty things in my mind was a joke and she used to laugh at them, but it went completely the wrong way. she told me to f**k off and its over. from this point i didnt say anything.

 

ive been through a stage of no contact before with another ex but at the time had moved on as found someone else etc.

 

my question to you all is do i leave it and let her contact me(once shes apparently sorted her head out) do i stay friends with her along the way? she tells me she misses me and loves me, but always tells me shes got to do this... so in frustration because of the constant drinking i feel helpless.

 

I love her and she knows this. but how can you support someone who doesnt have any motivation to help them selves?

 

today i messaged her online on chat and was cheery and said some nice comments etc like hope you have a blast and have a drink for me etc. her response was different from that of other days. I said once again that if and only when shes ready could we try again and would she think about it. she said she would to me, but told my friend that she wouldnt...

 

help please i know its long winded but ive been on these forums before and its always nice to hear others opinions who going through same kind of thing. as most my friends and family seem to advise differently to one another.

 

 

would you say there is hope, or a way of turning this around

 

regards

 

Si (a very lonely person atm)

[Anotherday]

Just *how* long have you been with her?

 

From reading your post, not long. Save yourself some heartbreak and move on.

 

And I say this as a person who has been Dx'd with bipolar and has very stormy relationships. Not worth it. Move on to greener and healthier pastures.