I'm such a horrible friend, why does my best friend still stick by me?

[catee223]

Some of you may have read about my situation a few months ago about the crush on my straight friend. This is I guess a follow-up. I just need to vent here.

 

Long story short---

 

We've been friends for about 8 years, I'm bi, he's straight. About a year ago I developed feelings for him. I finally came out to him, he accepted me for it, from there I eventually told him my feelings for him, and he rejected me telling me he's straight, but still wanted to keep the friendship. My feelings have been getting in the way of the friendship, I was still convinced he was in denial; I've sent him drunken texts of things I shouldn't have said, pretty much *****ing and moaning about everything he does. He recently got a girlfriend, it made me feel worse, but so far I've been nice around her. I've constantly apologized for my actions towards him, he's even said his patience is starting to wear thin and finally told me to just stop. I wish these feelings never developed and that things would just go back to the way they were Anyway, love really makes you do stupid things.

 

I'm realizing how much I should really appreciate him as a friend because he's given me so many chances. He hasn't done anything wrong and it's been nothing but my selfishness that's making things worse. But no matter what I've done, he's always tried to just treat me the same and I've always ended up spitting right back at his face only because I had to start liking him as more than a friend. I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but I want to find a way to show that I can be happy for him and how much I enjoy the friendship. I guess it may even mean taking time apart, if that has to happen, then so be it. Thanks for listening.

[A-Game123]

the answer is obvious stop being an ass to him because then you will lose him as a friend and hes not in denial my friend hes straight sorry to tell you so you have to stop hitting on him otherwise you will lose him

[bigblue3]

Wow dude I'm pretty much in the same boat as you. We practically have identical situations with the exception that my friend doesn't have a girl. I haven't gotten to the point that I've constantly called him while drunk but I have said things to him while we've been drunk together. I would say that you are being a bit selfish because the kid is sticking around despite your shenanigans. I have started to feel the same way because my friend was still very receptive of me after I told him about the feelings I have for him. Think of it like this: this kid is really trying to be your friend even after you told him something very deep that would usually send people running. If he's still around, you could be sure that he truly cares about you as a friend and THAT'S IT. Right now you're not being a friend you're thinking about yourself and your emotions. Stay away from him for a bit to let your feeling quell a bit and then when you feel you're ready, try working on re-establishing your friendship. I should listen to my own advice but it's a lot harder to do than it is to tell. Good luck man.

[FathomFear]

Try not to get down on yourself. Most gays and lesbians at some point or another allow themselves to develop feelings for a straight person. Trying to convince yourself that he's straight, etc, is also common too. You'll learn from the experience. For now, just try to emotionally detach yourself as much as possible.

[catee223]

Thanks guys, I know I gotta stop beating myself up over this, but it's not easy for me. I'm one of those people who tends to read into every little thing a person says and does, and I wasted quite a lot of time looking for signs that showed he could've been into me, but what a slap accross the face I got!

 

What sucks is that we both work the same summer job, so we're around each other at least 4 days a week. Our coworkers know that he's seeing someone (and most are friendly with her), so I cringe every time one of them talks about her with him in front of me, but fortunately he doesn't go into gory details; he's not the "kiss and tell" type. I know, this really sounds like an unhealthy obsession Since my last message however, I've been doing my best to act like a normal friend around him, and he's still talking to me.