No contact advice

[lolajoy]

ok. well, i have learned a ton from this website and it has successfully helped me move on and become a better me (and to really appreciate all i am capable of)...having said that...let me get to my issue:

 

me and my guy were together for 17mths. - LD - due to colleges in very distant states...before our breakup...

 

anywho. i had never heard of the NC rule before i stumbled upon this website but my awesome friends had essentially already talked me into doing it - which turned out to be a blessing in disguise - it really works folks!

 

however, my EX will be back in town for the 4th of july (before we broke up we had plans - so we both know the other will be in town) and there's a good chance i'll run into him due to various town events (small town run ins)

 

here's the thing - we have had NO contact since the night we broke up...

i still wonder if that's because:

a. he's happy w/ the breakup and has successfully moved on

b. he thinks that i'm happy w/ the breakup and have successfully moved on

 

(truth from my side - i'm not 'happy' but i have successfully overcome the drama from it and learned...)

 

sooo....(actual question coming - i promise! lol)

i want to call him to just talk about things before we have some sort of awkward meeting in public (with a crowd of various friends who know what went down and we'd be watched and analyzed by everyone!) but i feel so strong and so good and have reached a nice place since our breakup and i wonder if our establishing a foundation before seeing eachother would just backfire. (I don't want him to see the contact as an attempt at me getting back together with him, but rather extending the olive branch and catching up on each other's lives...)

 

one thing i'm really proud of concerning MyJoy's posts is that i have reached that place where i can say "i can live without him"...so i wonder if i am ready to talk to him and end the NC?

 

HELP. help me dig into this and figure out

the most sane path to take.

[lolajoy]

when i said...

I'm not happy - i mean HAPPY ABOUT THE BREAK UP.

 

i am very happy in my life...lol. oops.

[smiles314]

Hi. Well lemme say that i know your thoughts about NC...and wondering all these things. I wonder teh same things, i really do and i have these moments of weakness where I want to break it. But i say that if i made it this far theres no sense ruining all that. And thats what I think goes for you too... Im not sure how long you have been not contacting him, but i cant tell its doing good for you. I just don't you should talk to him until you are absolutely over him, ya know so you wont be the slightest bit vulnerable and ruin all the progress you made. And being completely void of all those feelings may take a longggg time or may never totally happen, but I think you should just hang in there until he does something if he does. And i believe that it would be better if and when you 2 run into each other that weekend.. Just kinda let nature take its course, i know how you feel so PM me if youd like..

 

Gl