Is My Boyfriend Gay?

[Captain_B]

Recently i started seeing this guy. Very hot, fancied him for ages.

 

But, i'm a bit worried. Before me he'd never had a girlfriend, despite the fact that girls were always after him. And as soon as he started seeing me, his best mate (who also hadn't had a girlfriend) fell out with him big time. They still don't speak or stay in the same proximity for any length of time and both refuse to tell anyone what it is they fell out over. The mate has implied its serious, whereas my bf just plays it down. I'm starting to worry they had a thing. He'll get texts sometimes, and won't let me read them or even know who its from. The first few weeks (been coming upto 3 months now) he could get really down sometimes, and i can tell whenever he see's his 'ex' best mate walk down to the shops near our school (we're in year 13), he'll avoid it.

 

None of their mutual friends have a clue what is up with them, and apparently people used to joke about them being together in year 10, but that died down. The mate now, when before we got on pretty well, is hostile towards me. Bad looks, suddenly stops talking (usually pretty dominating in common room discussions) much if i come into the room, and has been really down recently, although he's a pretty moody character anyway.

 

Now it could be something completely different. The mate could just be down about losing his mate, or jealous his best mate has a gf. Our sex is normal, so if he is gay he can still get aroused and want to have sex. But it all seems too much of a coincidence.

 

I would confront him, but he'd just get short with me. I really, really fancy him and feel raising it can't be undone. Even if it was true, should i care? It means he probably went out with me straight after him, which is a bit crap. But he seems like he likes me, and if he was willing to break off something like that then maybe thats a good sign. If i confronted it and he denied it, and suspicious stuff continued to crop up that he had a thing with him, what would my next move be...Would you stick around anyway?

 

What do you think????

[HouseKitten]

Well, if it did turn out he had a thing with this other guy, that doesn't have to mean your relationship doesn't mean anything. He could be bisexual after all.

 

Perhaps you could try and talk to him about it but avoid bringing up 'I think you might be gay'. Instead, focus on the fact that him and his friend have fallen out and now his friend treats you with some contempt and it's making you uncomfortable, since of course you feel it might be your fault in some way.

[PinkAngel]

He could be bi or like you said it could be something different. Maybe his ex-friend has a crush on him but your guy is straight. The best thing you can do is talk to him because you are not a mind reader and you'll never know until you ask. It will be awkward, but he should understand.

[Partime_Judas]

First off, he is currently with you correct? Then why does it matter if he was in a relationship with someone else? Is your relationship having problems, no? Then don't rock the boat. Sorry for going off with the 20 questions but it does kinda piss me off when people get all anal about sexual orientation. Seriously, does it honestly matter what the hell other people decide to do behind closed doors? I'm sure if he ever feels the need to tell you he will, but the longer you obsess over it the more it will impact your relationship. Second, did it occur that both guys thought you were cute and he just scooped you up first? Thusly pissing off his mate, especially if said mate had already expressed interest in you. Just to toss out a fun example, let's go with... mmm The Beatles... Anyway, if it's really that big of a concern, mention a three way to him and if he's interested, suggest his friend as the second guy... (I really don't suggest this, but the Judas side of me thinks it's a hilarious idea) Anyway, good luck.

[Captain_B]

Well, he was drunk and I danced around it, and eventually he told me. He'd been with him for 4 years he said, but that it was just a thing and he'd got past that now with me...He downplayed how much it meant to him, but surely 4 years and not going near a girl to stay with him must mean something.

 

Thing is, whether he is or isn't he doesn't know obviously. The fact that he insists the mate was a one off seems unlikely and a bit suspicious. 1 in 3 billion? I'd have felt better if he'dve said he just likes both in a way.

 

Also, if his friend suddenly got mad, it probably means he got with me very shortly after stopping with his mate. That doesn't fill me with much confidence either.