sunday2010 Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 say you're in the minority and you've gotten back with your ex.. how did it happen? And how old were you and how long together and how long was it before you reunited??? i'd like to see some positive stories! Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 say you're in the minority and you've gotten back with your ex.. how did it happen? he emailed me asking how I was and asked me to call him And how old were you and how long together 8.5 months I was 18 when we got together and when we broke up. he was 19 when we got together 20 when we broke up and how long was it before you reunited??? 10 months, was really out of the blue we had very limited contact next to NC I emailed him saying happy birthday once in 8 months NC Oh, I was 19 when we got back together, he was 21 i'd like to see some positive stories! that any use lol? Link to comment
sunday2010 Posted June 22, 2010 Author Share Posted June 22, 2010 that any use lol? Thats a good one,..i guess any story like this is good.thanks Link to comment
Mercurial Girl Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 how did it happen? After some time apart (6 months?) I asked him if he wanted to meet at a pub to catch up. Some time at the pub led to hours and hours of talking things out back at his place, and deciding to once and for all make a final real effort at this relationship. We're coming on 3 years now and our relationship is completely different than it was in the beginning (in a good way!) And how old were you and how long together Met when I was 21, he was 25. Together for a year and a bit, and how long was it before you reunited??? 6 months Note I had been actively trying very hard to stay in his life through the break up. I was a huuuuge cold jerk putting little to NO effort into him or the relationship when we were first together (but I barely realized this -- my attitude at the time was all I knew). He finally dumped me and gave me a wake up call as to how I treat him (and how I had treated past partners). The second time around he really needed me to prove I had changed, and so I needed to show him how dedicated I was to being back together with him. I had to chase him! Which is what everyone warns AGAINST - but in my case it's what had to be done. Now, if the "chasing" had gone on past the reuniting, it would have been a different story. But in this case, he actually gained more respect for me for going after what I wanted, rather than the usual LOSS of respect you find in cases of someone chasing the dumper. Our relationship is now more equal, it used to be one-sided, he did ALL the work, put in all the effort -- until he left me and I realized how much I had lost. Link to comment
biggerheart Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 How? We never really stopped talking. Maybe about 4 days in which I moved out. Slowly went from talking daily to back together but not living together after admitting what the problems were for a month or so. We never did work on those problems other than to admit them, and tension brought all the old misunderstandings back. Lasted another 14 months. If you do get back together it should be with actual effort to fix what was wrong in the first place. Admitting you have different ways of communicating is not enough. Link to comment
fuddiduddy Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 Now, if the "chasing" had gone on past the reuniting, it would have been a different story. But in this case, he actually gained more respect for me for going after what I wanted, rather than the usual LOSS of respect you find in cases of someone chasing the dumper. Our relationship is now more equal, it used to be one-sided, he did ALL the work, put in all the effort -- until he left me and I realized how much I had lost. Uh oh. This tempts me to drop NC and just go all out to pursue him by any means. I'm already feeling quite tempted to reconnect with him. I want him back soooo bad. We can love ourselves to high heaven, but there simply is no substitute for being with the one you love and them loving you back. I sooo want to feel that daily euphoria again. :sad: Link to comment
Mercurial Girl Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 Uh oh. This tempts me to drop NC and just go all out to pursue him by any means. I'm already feeling quite tempted to reconnect with him. I want him back soooo bad. We can love ourselves to high heaven, but there simply is no substitute for being with the one you love and them loving you back. I sooo want to feel that daily euphoria again. Despite doing the opposite, I would still generally advise you NOT to chase him. Generally speaking, it only has the opposite effect. At the same time though, I do believe at the end of the day it's on a case-by-case basis, and really depends on why you broke up in the first place. Tread carefully. Also remember that my case is an odd and unlikely one. MOST break ups do best with NC. I DID give us some time apart as well, I DID do NC for a while to focus on ME and my shortcomings, so keep that in mind! Link to comment
AllUNeedIsLove Posted June 24, 2010 Share Posted June 24, 2010 say you're in the minority and you've gotten back with your ex.. how did it happen? He kept coming back and forth (finally I told him I didn't want to speak to him) we had NC and a bit of LC. Then when he figured out what he wanted he came back. And how old were you and how long together and how long was it before you reunited??? When we first started we were both 19 and it lasted 8 months. We were separated for about 10 months (4 of those months as friends with benefits). Then we dated again when we were both 21 and that lasted 7 months because we never really fixed our issues...But I learned a lot, and hopefully I could do a third time. (third times a charm). i'd like to see some positive stories! hopefully that helps... Link to comment
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