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Need some opinions. Lost case?


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Hi. I just came back from a trip with the girl I'm in love with. We spent about 8 hours together picnicing at a beautiful island, and we had a lot of fun balancing on slack line, throwing frisbee, relaxing in a hammock for two and just playing around. I had a fantastic time, and I believe she had great fun too. All of the talking was great, and we both got to know eachother much better.


But then...

I was hoping she had the evening off, so we could get some food, maybe a drink, or watch a movie together. But she had an appointment with a friend, to watch a movie with her. So I asked her if she wanted to get together again some time before vacation when she travels away for 5-6 weeks to work somewhere else, she leaves in 12 days. And she replied: I'm not sure if I have the time, I am working a lot before that, and my brother comes home too, and I really want to spend time with him.


Of course, I am thinking that she is not interested in me that way, and she just found a nice way to tell me that she doesn't want to meet me again. I mean, you do find time within 12 days if you really want to...?


Should I just give up on it all?


One more thing. She told me about the book she is reading atm, and she hates it, but feels that she should finish it anyway. I told her that if she doesn't like the book, she should just stop right now. I asked her if I could borrow it, that way she couldn't keep reading it, and she said that if she hadn't finished it by Sunday, she would give it to me. We agreed on that, and I told her again that if she hadn't finished it by Sunday, she would have to meet me to give it to me. And she agreed on this (this was earlier, so I hadn't asked yet if she wanted to meet again) and stated that she would meet me to give it to me. So I have the chance to see her again then (I'm quite sure she won't finish it), and also ask her to do something that evening if she actually comes to town to give it to me (she has to travel for about half an hour to get here). Should I try that? Or should I just play cool and don't try anymore? Should I send her an sms tonight or tomorrow that I enjoyed the day, or just stay out of contact?


All opinions are appreciated. Do you think this case simply is lost for me?

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Don't take it personally but I think shes probably not that interested. It might be one of those situations where the timing just isn't right.


The movie date with a girl friend. If she really liked you then she'd ditch the friend for you (or come up with plan B). Thats generally acceptable.


Maybe she wants to take it slow? I'd keep in touch if I were you because, you never know.

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The movie date with a girl friend. If she really liked you then she'd ditch the friend for you (or come up with plan B). Thats generally acceptable.


She did tell me that she wanted to use every opportunity to meet with this girl friend, as they were really close before, but then she started studying somewhere else, and they didn't meet very often. They did text eachother during the day, so she might have agreed on it while we were together, but that is only speculation. We did not talk at all about hanging out in the evening too, that just didn't feel natural.


You start off by calling her the girl you're "in love with." How long exactly have you been dating this girl? Despite saying you love her, this situation sounds like you've only had one or two dates....


"In love with" might have a slightly different meaning in English than in my language. Anyway, I have fallen for this girl some time ago, we have known eachother for almost half a year, and I have never felt such an attraction to any girl I've ever met, that is both her personality and her looks. This was our first date, earlier we have just been alone together studying for an exam.




I do not want her to think I'm desperate or needy or anything, so I want to be careful about asking her again to meet. But then again, if I don't ask again, I don't think she will either...

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Sounds like she doesn't want to get too involved. Let it go. If she brings it up, then it is on, but I am guessing you will not see her for a couple months. Cool your jets, find someone or some things to distract you. If you plan for nothing and she comes back interested bonus for you. If you sit back and pine away for 6 weeks and she still doesn't want to meet up you have wasted that time for nothing.

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As long as you made it clear you enjoyed yourself and think she is a great gal, you've played your cards. Anything more and imho you will begin looking like that desperate, needy guy you were worried about.


I guess you're right about that. I did tell her at the end that I really enjoyed myself, so I won't text her telling her that again.


But about the book - you don't think I should ask her on Sunday if she did finish it? I made it quite clear I would demand borrowing it from her if she didn't.

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