The Break-Up Dilemma

[MissyMolly]

I wonder if, at the moment of a break-up, the dumper ever thinks about the possibility that if they ever wish to un-dump the dumpee in the future, that it’s entirely possible that the dumpee may not necessarily want to undo the original dumping? Maybe the dumpee thinks "Yeah, that sure hurt like hell, but whatever, it turns out it was a brilliant idea for you to leave me."

Are ya with me?

Would this possibility make the dumper think twice, three times, or just really hard about the impending dump? Maybe not, but I’m betting that it might prevent them from making fools of themselves in the future.

I mean, if you’re going to dump someone, by God, make it stick. Because if you don’t, you’ve got some long hard asphalt in front of you.

First, as the dumper-who-has-changed-their-mind, you have to first suffer the wrath of the dumpee for putting them through all that garbage in the first place.

Definitely not for the timid.

Second, you have prove yourself worthy of this second chance, not ONLY primarily with the dumpee, but ALSO with the dumpee’s friends, the dumpee’s family, the dumpees co-workers and the dumpee’s video store clerk. Because they all had to hear about it. ALL about it.

And third, it’s probably going to cost you a lot of money.

A LOT of money.

Because, the only way you can make certain that the person you are trying to un-dump takes you seriously enough is by buying them lots of pretty things. Sparkly things. With nice cards to go with them. Not those crappy cheap-o cards made on recycled paper; no, the really big glossy cards with glitter on them. And you should probably present these pretty, sparkly, expensive things and glittery cards to the dumpee in a REALLY nice upscale eating establishment.Several times. Over the course of however long it takes to for the wrath of the dumpee to cool down. And that’s just to get your foot back in the door.

Then, you got maintenance and upkeep to deal with.

For like, ever.

Sounds like a whole lot of trouble to go through if you really don’t want to leave a person in the first place.

So, you better be pretty ding-dang sure you’re not gonna want that subscription back once you cancel it – it can be pretty daunting to back on that mailing list.

(Nope, I still haven't answered his email.)

[Cadence44]

I think it's dependent on the maturity level of the dumper. Those that really think things through will know that once they break up, they have to let the person go if that's what the dumpee needs even if the dumper questions whether the break up was the right thing to do.

 

I think the more immature dumpers expect the dumpee to stick around so that they can still have access to them. These are the ones who react badly when the dumpee does not want to stick around and be their "friend".

[alli]

I think the quicker you decide to dump someone, the longer you should just wait to see how things play out, see if you change your mind before making a move. If you have valid reasons for dumping them (my definition of valid is extreme arguing, abuse, control issues, cheating, etc) then you probably don't need to wait long to break up. But, if you decide that you just WANT to break up in a spur of the moment deal because you miss the "freedom" of single life, or for the prospect of dating a new person, than give it a month, or at least a couple weeks. You never know if you will change your mind about wanting to break up, and it's very difficult to undo a breakup because the damage is already done. The other person is hurt, will probably have trouble trusting that you won't leave again, & there's a good chance they won't take you back or will break up with you after getting back together anyway.

 

I don't think buying a person's love back can fix it. Un-doing a breakup requires both people to really want to get back together, some in-depth conversations, communication, and both understand the long road back to a healthy relationship.

[MissyMolly]

Whoa- The original post wasn't supposed to be taken quite so seriously. It was sort of intended to provide a bit of levity. Guess I was off the mark a tad...

:splat: