UPDATE-- XXBF getting scared? Pushing me away?

[TrueHeart]

Hey guys-- Here's an update on my recent drama..

 

Adam left Jenna.. about a week ago.. I pretty much was treading softly at that point as I didn't know if anything would upset him or set him off.. Things seemed to go on as normal between us-- We went out a few times, to a local hangout that we frequent. On Saturday, he showed up unexpectedly there, but we still managed to have a good time playing volleyball and drinking. There were a few guys that I was just talking to, and being friendly to. Apparently, he really didn't like this, and blew it out of the water saying "All this does is just confirms to me you haven't changed!"

 

Huh?

 

All I was doing was talking to them, I didn't even give them a number or anything... in fact, we were talking about age-gaps. Apparently, a few minutes before, Adam heard the guy I was talking to say "Watch, I'm going to tap that ass!"-- which usually means the intention to sleep with that particular person... Called me over, and started talking again.. Well, I had no idea-- but I made light of a 2 minute conversation about age-gaps again, and walked away.. I never spoke to him again...

 

Adam got really drunk, and drove home. Indeed a stupid idea, but he made it home safely. He was telling me that "I don't act like I love him" and all that crap.. I defended that I was only talking to him, and wasn't engaging in anything that would mislead this guy as I was in the middle of a volleyball game. Adam said that I don't make him feel good, and blah blah blah...

 

I defended that he was being silly... and on top of that, I didn't want to mislead his friends into thinking that he dumped his EX for me... We were affectionate, but not over affectionate. I didn't want to crowd him or anything, or rush things too quickly.

 

Now, I went to a premiere last night to see Dodgeball. Adam called me previously to see what I was doing, at which I told him. The premiere was over around 9:30 and I said I would stop by. By the time I got out of the movie, it was 10:15, and I started heading to his house. He had called a dozen times, sent text messages... When I showed up at his door, he had my necklace and earrings I left there, and gave them to me.. He told me to leave him alone and not talk to me again, and that he was sick of my excuses.

 

Is he taking his XGF problems out on me? Should I leave him alone? I truly don't understand what is upsetting him, and I've asked him to explain it, and he said he doesn't want to.. He said I don't make him feel good at all. I asked him then WHAT has the passed 2 months been? I told him I felt like he was using me for an emotional tampon for his X, and I felt used.

 

What should I do?? I couldn't sleep last night really, and I want to rectify this..

[kantore]

just give him some space to cool off and to miss you. Then suggest that the two of you grab lunch. Just try to hang out with him, and do not press the issue. Let the relationship take its natural course. Whatever happens I am sure that it will all work out. Remember he is out of a relationship, so he is probably a little volnerable right now. He needs a friend, so be his friend. Over time if it is meant to be, things will progress naturally.

[DopeStar]

Tell him to F off, your not his girlfriend you can do whatever you want, if he wants you back he needs to say it, be a man about it, you know what i mean. If he going to act this insane while you two are just friends can you imagine what it will be like if you two were together again and he caught you chatting to another guy. He sounds crazy leave him alone and if he starts to act like an adult again maybe you should talk to him. You dont need this crap especially after he misslead(?) you for the last few months while he dated another girl. did he just expect you to drop everything in your life because he dropped that girl. thats crazy tell him to call you when he grows up.

[TrueHeart]

You know what guys, you're right.. That was pretty much the message I left for him the last time I talked to his voicemail last night. In fact, you summerized it pretty good. If he wants to love me, miss me whatever... he can call me.

 

I just need to know if that space will be any good? If not, will he think because I'm not calling/seeing him that I truly don't care??

[RayKay]

 

I just need to know if that space will be any good? If not, will he think because I'm not calling/seeing him that I truly don't care??

 

I am going to guess you already laid it all out for him before. I think you have shown him you cared also by being there for him through all this with his most recent ex. I worry the same things sometimes with my ex, we are in close contact, but I also try to stay somewhat emotionally distant. But you know, he knows I care - I told him it all when we broke up, he has all my cards, letters from our time together, I show him I care by being his friend right now.

 

He knows you care. He has to figure out how much HE cares. Does that make sense? Let him come to you now. If he really cares...he will.

[TrueHeart]

Yes, you're right.. that does make sense.. I guess I will rely on fate, prayer and hope to really have this one turn out... It hasn't even been a day and already I want to send him a text message saying I miss him. How can I re-fall in love with someone so quickly again?

 

Love... Its a crazy thing..

 

I hope this works... and our love is strong enough to lead him back to me...

[TrueHeart]

Well I probably did a really stupid thing, but what the hell... I sent him a text message and haven't heard a response yet.. Here's what I sent...

 

" I miss you" -- early this morning

 

" So much for loving me... Thanks.. This is my last straw.. I want you.. Will you be with me, be my boyfriend." -- Apprx. 2 hours later

 

" I'm beggin you Adam. Please let me show you the right way.. All you need to do is say yes, and I'll be there.. Just a simple yes." -- 10 minutes after the last text.

 

I haven't heard a response... and I really don't know what to think. I am definitely NOT going to do it again. Its only been Day 2 of the NC-- and I'm going nuts.... I have no money to go out and keep busy, so I'm stuck at home... I need some help guys... Did I blow it??