Please HELP!!! can't really understand what's going on his mind

[audrey]

Hi everyone, loong time since the last time i wrote here, well i need some of your opinions about this.

 

I met a guy and we started talking on msn for many hours and everyday, after just a few weeks he told me he liked me and as i liked him too i told him that me too but we need to know eacthother more. He was always sweet and told he would do anything to come and see me (we live far apart).

 

Well, all was very nice, many details from him, all very romantic, but all of the sudden he erased me from msn and the rest. That got me very sad, later he told me it was stupid and he regreted and that the reason he did it was cu'z he realized that probably we would never met and that he couldn't stand talking to me having that thought, he didn't mean to make me sad by erasing me and that he's sorry to hurt the person that meant the most (me) and that he wish distance disappeared.

 

Now he added me on everything again, but i don't see him much and we hardly talk, i really miss when we use to talk, when we do it's long and he stays awake till really late.

 

He asked me a few time if i would go to a closer place where he's going soon so we could meet there, but i can't do that for then well, i would if i could really, but i got fears, i don't really understand all this, the only thing im sure is that i can't stop thinking about him.

 

Hope i get some help

[citymouse]

I think there is a subconscious part of you that is not at all confused, and that on some level you understand very clearly what is going on here.

 

I suspect you are telling yourself that you are "confused" because if you can be confused and helpless, then you are excused from facing facts that you don't want to accept.

 

This sounds a lot like a phantom relationship -- you've never met, yet you've spent hours online typing and talking, then he mysteriously deletes you from his chat buddy list, then he comes back and wants you to meet up with him at a place and time that's inconvenient for you --- this whole thing is non-existent.

 

If I were you I would tell him that if he wants to visit you in your city, to get in touch; otherwise you don't have time to chat with him anymore. And then I would get busy with online dating with guys who were in your own city. Keep the email chit-chat brief -- if the guy doesn't want to ask you out after two or three emails, move on and find someone who wants to get together in 3-D rather than online.

[audrey]

Yeah, i think so, but by all the things he has done, it's true what he says about what he feels, im having a hard time evertime i think about him, i wonder if he just can't come bc'z of his situation he used to tell me if he could he would come tomorrow.

 

I could be going to where he's going but in different time, and haven't told him yet, wanna tell him once is sure, but im afraid he would say he can't, i think if he really meant what he told me he would make that efford...so...i should tell him (if i go) to go there to meet me?

[citymouse]

i think if he really meant what he told me he would make that efford...

 

I do too.

 

...so...i should tell him (if i go) to go there to meet me?

 

I wouldn't. If he's really interested, he will make the effort to come and see you in your city.

[audrey]

Hi, why u think he erased me and then want me again there to talk with him? what all this means? what he wants from me?

 

Honestly i don't mind he did add me again and having him, cu'z i rather have him than not....it's just i wish i could know why if it was so difficult for him to keep me there knowing maybe we never meet now he wanna be there again??? what do you think? thanks a los Citymouse!

[citymouse]

Obviously I don't have any way to prove this, but I strongly suspect the reason he erased you so suddenly and without even having the courtesy to run it by you -- is because he probably met someone else. Then it didn't work out with the other girl, so he added you back. Just a hunch, that's all.