Giving Her A Second Chance

[DtD]

Here's the story:

 

She and I were pretty close and were getting to know each other over a month or so. We shared plenty in common, and we were interested in learning new things about each other and try new things. We had similar and rival passions that kept us together and kept times fun. She's a rocker girl and often hosts shows for bands. That is how we actually first met.

 

But for this last show, she pulled me outside and gave me some info that her ex-boyfriend, whom she had broken up with because of her leave for the army, was going to make an appearance and try to get back together with her. I thought nothing much of it, just a little heads up that some guy was going to be hassling her and I shouldn't make a fuss of it. Instead I guess she was telling me that she would be accepting to his request, and a few hours later I saw her in his arms kissing him. Obviously, I was torn about it and instead of bringing forth a confrontation there, I just texted her some notes of my disappointment and made my way off. I don't compete for women, so to me, she chose someone else just like that, I was pissed, but I went my own way once again.

 

That was just this previous weekend... Well I guess just recently, her guy screwed her over and now they are done for good. okay. Today I received a message from her, she had been talking with a mutual friend, an ex of mine, and said she was sorry, she regrets her actions and asks if there is any possibility of giving her another chance.

 

I don't want to give in and just be a silver medal to her, but part of me still can't get her out of my head and wants to get back together with her...

 

Any tips on what I should say? I don't want to come off cold and just say "I guess" or appear needy and just say "I'll take you back". This is the first time I'm actually conflicted on a matter like this.

[thefinn]

Hey,

 

You need to tread very carefully. You have to ensure that if you're going to take her back that you're not a rebound. She's feeling lost and confused right now and she may be looking at you to fill the void. You need to discuss that with her. Tell her you don't want to be her second prize. See how she reacts to that. You don't want to set yourself up for heartbreak...especially cause you seem to really like her. Feel her out. Talk to her about how she's feeling. If she seems angry at him she may just be looking for revenge, or if she's overly sad she may be looking for a filler. If neither of those emotions seem to surface at all, she may actually genuinely regret letting you go. Talk to her!

[JusticeLaw9]

I think if you ever go back to the way things used to be with her, you will be handing your walnuts over in a very major way. You two were onto something, chemistry developing and all and suddenly she tossed it into the wind. She gave you a friggin' warning of what was to come and it happened. There's no seeing this as the glass half-full in my opinion.

[DtD]

I think if you ever go back to the way things used to be with her, you will be handing your walnuts over in a very major way. You two were onto something, chemistry developing and all and suddenly she tossed it into the wind. She gave you a friggin' warning of what was to come and it happened. There's no seeing this as the glass half-full in my opinion.

 

You gotta think though, she had the exact same thing with this guy except they were going out for maybe a year or two, and she gave it up to join the army.....

[Nomadic Intent]

There is a lot of red flags amongst your posts there, Dtd. And obviously you're aware that she already gave up what she had to puruse her own interests... and threw what you guys had with a simple flick as well....

 

It definetly sounds like she needs to figure out what she wants. I'd say to steer clear from this girl relationship wise, until she figures herself out.

[MikNomis]

You should say that things became very clear when she did you wrong that night. You don't need this one. There was drama before things even became serious. Just leave now.

[SpottiOtti]

She sounds as though she is still finding herself - what with joining the army and flitting back to the other guy. Or that she's flaky. It does seem suspicious to me that as soon as things didn't work out with the ex, she comes running back to you. I'd say that she is definitely driven by self-interest at this point in her life. She probably doesn't really want a serious relationship but thinks she does because she's lonely. I think you should just stay away.

[geekgirl4]

You need to be very careful and listen to your head on this one. She threw you aside so quickly, and then right after her relationship ends, she's back to you? You shouldn't be the convenient guy for her, nobody should.

[DtD]

I feel like I really need to test her on this one. Like I said, we're a city apart, and beforehand, I was the one who would travel to see her. She wants to see me and talk, she's going to have to come to me and make one convincing statement on her behalf to get me back. I know I don;t want to be a silver medal to her, but I still want her to realize what she has done.

[HeartGoesOn]

That's a tough one, but I wouldn't want to be second best to anyone.

[DtD]

to give her a break, she works at the bar where she hosted the show and dropped me, so she was getting free drinks and was drunk at the time.... I know, i know... I'm being to light hearted, but im still making her work for it just to have her talk to me. I havent given in to her, and its not going to be that easy...