how to deal with them with someone else!

[loulou37]

hi all, i was wondering how people deal with the thought of their ex with someone else, like sexually, me and my ex had a wonderful sexual relationship and the thought of him doing the things we did with someone else makes me sick to my stomach.

 

how do you deal with them thoughts? any suggestions?

[Speranza]

Um - think about something else.......

 

Seriously.

[loulou37]

easier said than dun eh

[loulou37]

so why are you here? did you break up with your ex?

[Adge]

easier said than dun eh

 

Yup! But then again...when you're ready, you'll be able to be with someone else too!

 

Try not to let your mind race and get cut-up about it. I'm in a similar situation and think about my ex being with someone else, but then I think...well actually...when I'm ready...I'll find someone more compatible and will be a lot happier

 

You'll do the same!

[arwen]

Oh, those horror thoughts about the ex doing THAT with someone else It helped me to realize that how great sex is, depends on the interaction, not on one person. The same person can be terrible with someone else. That the first time is probably clumsy. That he was probably also thinking of me. And later, I just wasn't thinking as much about it, I simply moved on.

[MikNomis]

At least you'll think about it less as time goes on, so you should try to keep busy so that you don't notice the passage of time.

[brownowl90]

this is my hardest battle, specially when i have my son for the weekend, i put him to bed then know she will probably be in bed with him!!! heartbreakin, doesnt seem to be getting any easier at all!

[april15]

The trick is getting your mind to move forward, think forward and not back. Make plans, have goals, get your thoughts out of the pattern that brings you back to your former partner. Find something new to do that you can put energy into, not a replacement, just something you wanted to do that you can now think about and do. Then over time it will be easier until one day, it is just a memory, you have moved on.

[FrenchFries]

Um - think about something else.......

 

Seriously.

 

This times 1000.

 

Really, this is it. Take control of your thoughts and don't sit and dwell on what your ex is doing. It'll tear you apart.

[butterfly1968]

Oh the horrible place you are now, I really do feel for you. That gut wrenching feeling in your stomach, you literally want to puck at the thought. I have been in your shoes and it is no fun and very recently too. It is VERY difficult when the sexual relationship was awesome. I am not sure how bad it is for you, but for me it seemed to be obsessive thoughts. Know that the sexual experieces you two shared were special to you too, even though he may be doing some of the same things with her it won't be the same with her because there is no way she will be the same as you. For me I had to keep thinking about it for a while, and had to cry ALOT! it part of the grieving process. Then I had to find ways to interrupt the thoughts. Distraction of some kind. watch a movie, go for a walk, read a book. It is very difficult. I know while typing this that it is WAY easier said than done. But it will get better I promise you that. Hang in there my heart is with you.

[Insanelyme2107]

I went through the exact same thing... it was almost the hardest thing Ive ever been through. He felt the need to tell me details about it and everything ugh. But most likely he worries about the same thing. The only thing that really helped me is letting him go and finding someone else. It didn't really take away the pain completely but it def. helped. I also literally forced myself not to think about it. I made sure I didn't come in contact with anything that would remind me of them.

[mercurial100]

Going through the exact same thing today!

 

My ex was a glamour model and I still have her password to her email - I have been NC for over a week but check her e-mail daily (I know I shouldn't) but I found her sending her new boss of two weeks some of her modelling shots to his private email address....It almost killed me!

 

To make matters worse I even saw a booking confirmation for a hotel for the two of them to stay at - just imagine the image and thoughts!

 

All you can do is think of other things, hope he is useless in bed or hope the ex always has the headache she used to have when I wanted it!

[loulou37]

omg thats awful... it hurts so bad doesnt it.

[mercurial100]

omg thats awful... it hurts so bad doesnt it.

 

 

Yes - But I have sent the email to my private email (and deleted it from her sent items) so I have a copy. I don't KNOW anything is going on..but when I have proof the email will be finding it's way throughout the company!

 

She sent the pictures whilst she was "upset" when moving out of my apartment...Upset...yeah, good one!

[loulou37]

thier full of * * * * !! my boyf said he still loved me, and would miss me, even thou he couldnt be with me, next day hes on his bacebook and msn chatting up the slappers!!