Whenever we go out together, I pay!.. Normal?

[onelifetolive]

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. We use to go out a good amount and he would always pay. Dinner, movies, etc. Now recently since I got a job, i feel like whenever we do go out, just for a quick bite or ice cream, I pay. PLUS, we never go out out anymore! He never says I want to take you out to dinner or anything. He doesnt want to do anything nice anymore and Im sick of sitting around at eachothers house. Should he be taking me out? How can I get him to take me out, or for us to go out?!

[guynextdoor]

Does he have a job? Maybe he is in a financial bind. I'm sure there are things you two can do that doesn't require spending money but allows you to spend quality time.

[TechResQ]

That's exactly what I was going to ask. Does he have a job?

[Taikero]

This coming weekend, fix up some food with him, cooked or otherwise, and go to a nearby park and eat under a tree while you chat with each other. Bring a frisbee or bicycles or some other "activity" stuff with you if you like, and do that before/after the meal.

 

Make sure he knows you really DON'T want to be sitting at home all the time. Make it extremely apparent you want to go out and do things. Talk to him!

[onelifetolive]

he has a job but money is always very tight. he helps his parents out a lot and pays bills as well. he never even wants to do anything i ask even if it doesnt involve money!

[metrogirl]

he has a job but money is always very tight. he helps his parents out a lot and pays bills as well. he never even wants to do anything i ask even if it doesnt involve money!

 

Well what does he want to do? What do you guys normally do together?

[onelifetolive]

he doesnt really want to do anything! i dont get it. we usually hangout ..watch a movie..umm.. eat dinner at eachothers house. stuff like that. i wanna go out. he doesnt treat me anymore and im always paying.

[TechResQ]

That's not right. He should be willing to meet you half way and do some of the things you like doing too. Have you talked to him about it? What if you were to say let's go out a couple times a week and the rest of the time we can stay at home and watch movies and stuff. You could even bring up the idea "Dutch Treat" (each paying their own way), if you think it is an issue of money. Just a thought.

[Juxtapoz]

have you told him specifically that staying home all the time is boring?

 

i can relate with you because my ex-boyfriend never paid for anything. if we went out, it was because i was the one who wanted to go out, therefore i felt inclined to pay the tab. ease your way into it, maybe suggest going to a spot and say you only have enough to go dutch?

 

if you don't speak up it will get worse, trust me

[dr_styles]

Maybe I've got the wrong idea from your post but if he's been paying for everything for a year I can see why he might be broke. I'm surprised at anyone still paying for everything after dating for a couple of months, let alone a year.

[geekgirl4]

Talk to him about how you miss the romantic stuff, like going on dates and seeing each other outside the house. And then give him examples of activities to do that don't require much money or any money at all. It should really be more about how you spend your time together, not how much is spent on your time together.