Please help!!! I met this girl online who lives far away!!!

[Shieldfan]

Hi. I´ve been talking to this girl online for almost 3 months. She makes me feel like i never felt before. I dont know if it can be called love in cyberspace, but every time we talk, my heart goes nuts... I think of her every waking moment. The problem is, that she lives so far away from me, she lives in South East Asia, i live in Scandinavia..... We chat on cam almost every day, we do online gaming together. She says she loves me so much, and misses me whenever i´m not around. The same goes for me, i miss her everyday. We send each other messages on SMS too, and lotsa emails. The thing is, when i bring up the thing abut wanting to meet her in real life, i get confused, because sometimes she says it´s not possible, because of the distance, and i can understand that. And sometimes she gives me some signals that she wants to meet me. It confuses me a bit... She has other male friends online as well, so i am not naive and think that i´m alone, it just feels so honest and genuine when she says she loves me. She once said that our relationship will only be cyber, and i don´t think i can handle that, because i want the physical part as well... We were talking once bout me coming to her, someday. She said "I hope i am still single then". That made me think that she doesn´t take our "relationship" seriously, but that she is with me for now, til someone better comes along.... Sorry about so much text, but i hope someone can give me some help/advice. I should mention that she is 23, and i´m 36.

 

Thankful for any help!

 

Stefan

[vitalcoaching]

Hi,

 

I'll be direct, okay? The challenge is not the distance, it is the signals she gives you. Looks like she does not really go for it. Why? distance, age difference, cultural difference. I see a few solid reasons there, she does not respond openly. And yes, she could have a circle of friends and even be dating someone over there.

 

She gives you flirting signals. You interpret it as relationship signals.

 

Feels like if you push, you'll turn her off. Listening to her needs and giving her space sounds like a better option.

 

She knows your desires. Give her space to respond in her own time if she wants to.

 

Good luck and stay in touch

 

vitalcoach

[rusty_boi]

ok dude i might be young but im not stupid you may think this is cruel or harsh but it wont ever work out your in different countries different age gaps different cultures i know you may think differently but stop talkin to her if you have to easier said then done i know but find someon closer to you in age and distance, unless you move with her i dont think it will happen sorry dude

[bleeder]

Vitalcoaching mentioned some good points there.

 

To add on, online relationships are a tricky thing. How do you know that she's giving you the same treatment exclusively? She might be doing that to numerous others, though I am not saying that she is certainly.

 

Be cautious, that's my advice.

[Shieldfan]

Thanks guys for your responses. I have no problem with you being direct, otherwise i wouldn´t have asked. One part of me wants to be with her so bad, another part of me wants to end this before both of us get hurt by this. I guess my heart says i wanna have her, and my mind says otherwise... I feel so unlucky, having met her and she´s thousands of miles away. On the other hand, many people meet from different parts of the world, and end up together. For example my cousin met a guy from Canada, and now they´re happily married, and living in Canada. I tell my girl now and then that anything is possible, implying that there is a way for us to meet, but then she disagrees, and says there are lots of things that are not possible. I guess i am thinking more positive than her... Anyway, thanx for your answers guys, i appreciate it!

 

Stefan

[bleeder]

You are most welcome dude. Tread carefully and I hope things work out well for you.

[RagingBull]

Be warned. I just broke up with my GF whom I met online and fell in love with. I thought she was the one.

 

The relationship ended badly after meeting in person. It is very difficult for me to get over it because she was also my best friend. She is willing to talk to me after the breakup, but I'm not yet ready to talk to her yet.

 

I know it's difficult but be very careful.