So confused

[Buddha5254]

My gf broke up with me a couple of weeks ago, saying she felt like she couldnt give me what I needed in a relationship and needed time to process the ending of her last relationship. I took the breakup very hard, perhaps the worst ever. We had only been dating 3 months but fell in love very quickly and things got intense and serious quick. It was a lot of pressure on the both of us to adjust after the initial falling in love phase. When she broke up with me she was having a lot of pressure from work and was also sick for 3 weeks with mono.

 

We didnt talk for a week after the breakup, I went NC because I was in so much anguish and pain. I am 30 and have dated many women and had never felt like that after a breakup. I felt like my heart had been ripped out.

 

We finally talked and it was good, we let out a lot of things that had been on our minds, and talked a lot about how we had never met anyone like that before in our life and how it was also scary for the both of us amidst the bliss. It turns out that she completely regretted breaking up with me and has been trying hard to get me back.

 

We have hung out a few times this week, which has been good, but I am finding that I have no trust and feel totally insecure, because the breakup to begin with was so sudden and impulsive on her part. I cant help but think I am just setting myself up to get hurt again.

 

She is very sincere about getting me back and says she will give me all the time that I need. She said she realized that she has never been with a guy like me (a good one) and that she got overwhelmed with how well everything was going and it freaked her out. Things have been amazing with her, but I'm scared to put my heart out again.

[sidehop]

That's rough, I'm very sorry to hear that.

 

How much time was in between the breakup with her ex and the time she met you? Is this the first time she acted out of the blue?

 

If you do want this to work out again I would definitely take your time, communicate that with her and see how things go without setting yourself up. Time will tell if she's being genuine about you or just stringing you along.

[Buddha5254]

There was only a few weeks between me and her ex. She did break it off with me one other time, early when we started dating for the same reasons, but didnt affect me at all. I just hate feeling insecure about this, and hope that she is really being authentic and not messing around with me.