Moving on and missing the ex

[TSandullo]

Mini story

 

A long time back, following the breakup, I was afraid.

 

No, not afraid of her not coming back to me. I was afraid of not being able to move on and obtain a seemingly 'normal' emotional state again.

 

I somehow equated missing her with not moving on.

 

Only recently did I realise this is not necessarily the case.

 

Sure, after months, or even years of having bonded with someone like that on an intimate level, it is difficult for the emotions involved to simply fade overnight.

Possibly never.

 

I might probably, in years to come, wed a woman while having residual feelings for my ex. It isn't a bad thing.

 

I can't control my emotions (though we all do try hard to), but I do have control over the directions I choose to take in life, and waiting around for an ex to come back, as much as I care about her, is something I don't plan on doing.

 

What prompted me to write today was from an email I sent her this afternoon regarding a couple of group events we need to organise after exams. She hasn't responded yet and then my mind slips into the overanalytical state that I have been fighting recently. I thought maybe she is sick in hospital and I am oblivious to it thus explaining me not having seen her around during exam time.

 

However, I am sure (and hope ) this is not the case.

 

One thing however, I did realise that though I have progressed a lot after the breakup, I do still care for her and miss her.

 

And I have no problems with that.

 

Heck, considering how I am now, I am happy to miss her for the rest of our lives.

 

TS

[hater13]

"I might probably, in years to come, wed a woman while having residual feelings for my ex. It isn't a bad thing."

 

this makes me sad...

[Brownstone322]

Mini story

 

A long time back, following the breakup, I was afraid.

 

No, not afraid of her not coming back to me. I was afraid of not being able to move on and obtain a seemingly 'normal' emotional state again.

 

I somehow equated missing her with not moving on.

 

Only recently did I realise this is not necessarily the case.

 

Sure, after months, or even years of having bonded with someone like that on an intimate level, it is difficult for the emotions involved to simply fade overnight.

Possibly never.

If you had a deep bond with your ex, that's perfectly reasonable -- why should those emotions ever disappear? As long as you're living a productive life without her (I know I am), then you're fine.