Handling mood swings. What to do???

[Saffron_]

It's been over a year since my breakup and in all honesty I can say I feel much better. Life's not like it was before. it's not better, it's slightly worse but it's bearable and things are looking brighter all the time. But there's one change in my personality that's becoming a right pain in the a*se, both to myself and to other people. I'm talking about mood swings. Pre breakup I normally only experienced these emotional swings as a part of PMS (ladies, you know what I'm talking about) but now I'm an emotional nut on a frequent basis. I know why it is. I realise looking back at the life changes I've gone through in the last 2 years that stress is playing a major factor, but what I wanna know is what I can do to help myself. What works? Lifestyle changes, counceling (not keen on that!), meditation...?? I dunno but I feel I need to do something even if it only brings about a slight improvement.

 

I don't wanna dwell on any break-up talk because I don't think at this stage that'll help me. I'm not sure if this is the best place to post but I'm sure a lot of people here are experiencing what I'm describing.

[Confused7]

i would say taking a vitamin b complex supplement every morning (srs it helped me). getting a pet, or going on lots of dates with new people.

[Mauxly]

Excercise, eating right, cut down on alcohol. Why are you not keen on counseling? If you get the right therapist it can be amazing.

[guiltyflood]

I posted this a while back, but it sounds like something I would consider doing.

 

 

 

It propelled me to that next step...

[Saffron_]

Why are you not keen on counseling? If you get the right therapist it can be amazing.

 

I'm just not that kind of person. I don't take to it as a way of handling problems and I feel there's too much emphasis on dwelling and analysis rather than fixing what's wrong and seeing improvements.

 

Confused, I have though about getting a pet actually (a rat). They really help lift your mood. As for b vitamins, I'll look into that.

[Mauxly]

I'm just not that kind of person. I don't take to it as a way of handling problems and I feel there's too much emphasis on dwelling and analysis rather than fixing what's wrong and seeing improvements.

 

Confused, I have though about getting a pet actually (a rat). They really help lift your mood. As for b vitamins, I'll look into that.

 

Ahh I feel ya! I agree whole heartedly which is why I shy away from psychoanalysis. I use cognitive behavioral therapy.

 

This is the difference:

 

Psychoanalysis -

 

Me: I'm really angry at my ex boyfriend for breaking up with me I want to let go of the anger.

Them: Why do you think you are angry? Let's examine why you get into dysfunctional relationships. Did you have problems with your father too?

 

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy -

 

Me: I'm really angry at my ex boyfriend for breaking up with me I want to let go of the anger.

Them: OK, next time you feel angry at your ex boyfriend I want you think about it like this, "He did you a huge favor!" do you still have the list from last session? The one where you wrote about all of the things that were wrong in the relationship and made you feel bad? Pull it out and write "He Did Me a HUGE Favor" on the top and read, and re read that list until you are grateful to him for releasing you from the pain.

 

I know it sounds kind of weird and rudimentary. But they teach you how to change your mind. Its things like that that have changed just about every area of my life. I have way less anxiety, a lot more confidence, and I highly doubt I'll get into another relationship with abuser again.

[Saffron_]

I visited a CBT therapist on the NHS a few years ago and didn't really take to it (perhaps I just didn't gell with that particular therapist). But she did give me a relaxation CD which although very basic, proved to be helpful. Can't find the bloody thing unfortunately! I liked the idea of CBT though so i purchased some of her 'recommended reading materials' and came accross a book with some usefull exercises on challenging negative perceptions. I also keep a diary with me and when I'm feeling particularly p*ssed off I get it all out on paper. It's not till I've calmed down and I go and re-read my diary that I realise how insane and angry the ramblings are. I wish I could stop the crazy emotions in their track and chill but I just get more wound up, especially when there's someone else around.

[nguyenal]

I have this problem too mostly due to pms. I hated how I couldn't control my emotions. I would get sad for no reason. I hate it so much. I wish I could control it better.

[Saffron_]

I have this problem too mostly due to pms. I hated how I couldn't control my emotions. I would get sad for no reason. I hate it so much. I wish I could control it better.

 

That's what's sooo annoying. I know exactly what you mean. They happen to me often for no reason. I can be fine and then the switch flicks and I'm depressed. As for PMS, that's gotten much worse for me. Are my hormones out of whack or something?

[quirky]

Yes I experienced that too, I can relate a lot to what you are saying. I am also not a fan of counceling and I went through MASSIVE changes the past 2 years, moved countries, really difficult breakup with back and forth, lost all that was familiar to me, what I knew as "home" from streets and venues to friends.

 

I don't know if this will apply to you but the thing that helped me was to accept my feelings. Not just feel them, accept them. This imbalance inside was happening because I was resisting something. I had a lot of sadness, disbelief, resentment and anger even towards myself. I felt that I was constantly running or something..running from the sadness, being in some subtle panic. Do not underestimate those changes, they can cause your belief system to crash. I was trying to impose these motivational, positive thoughts which helped but eventually I'd be back at the frustration.

 

I realised that "that which we resist, persists". I did these exercises where I embraced the feeling and accepted it, let it go in my body, stay there a bit and then let it out as if I have a hole at my back. I know this may sound crazy but it was the only time I actually felt relaxed after so long. I don't know if this helps you but surprisingly the secret for me was to not fight it as much, to not "correct" it. It was a bizarre form of self love like I'm allowed to be so lost whereas before I saw it as pathetic.

[Saffron_]

 

This imbalance inside was happening because I was resisting something. I had a lot of sadness, disbelief, resentment and anger even towards myself. I felt that I was constantly running or something..running from the sadness, being in some subtle panic. Do not underestimate those changes, they can cause your belief system to crash.

 

I realised that "that which we resist, persists".

 

That's interesting because for many months I was having upsetting dreams with a recurring theme, such as being in a room and being trapped or trying to run away from something or towards something. The feeling was always panic and I always woke up unrested. The dreams are not so frequent now. Maybe they were somethng my body just had to go through. Strangely, now I have a problem with oversleeping. I can quite easily sleep 10 hours straight through a night when I know I don't need that much sleep. Something's going on with me and I don't wanna resist it exactly but I need to address it.

[quirky]

Yes, I had the exact same thing, it's the stress inside. All my dreams had the same "vibe". I can also sleep for very long now.

 

Again, I don't know how it is for you exactly, just giving you my predicament in case you relate. I felt that with alll these changes I had lost control and found it difficult to trust myself and then people and life. Do you feel anything similar? I wanted to accept that all that happened was for the better but deep down I didn't believe that and I think that was what was causing the unrest. I'd sometimes lash out to my mum and then I'd realise it's not really her fault, I was just pissed off inside with my situation, angry at myself and..restricted. I was so used to being excited and content in the past that I just didn't wanna accept what was happening. This comes down to taking full responsibility for your life, adapting to the changes, forgiving yourself and others and life. I'm sorry I can't just tell you to go to the gym and it will be ok, maybe that will be enough for you..? But for me in the end it was an internal thing of acceptance.

[Saffron_]

 

I felt that with alll these changes I had lost control and found it difficult to trust myself and then people and life. Do you feel anything similar? I wanted to accept that all that happened was for the better but deep down I didn't believe that and I think that was what was causing the unrest. I'd sometimes lash out to my mum and then I'd realise it's not really her fault, I was just pissed off inside with my situation, angry at myself and..restricted. I was so used to being excited and content in the past that I just didn't wanna accept what was happening.

 

Yes I feel exactly what you're describing, like I had lost control somehow and couldn't get it back. I felt somewhat hopeless for a long time but it didn't really come to a head until my boyfriend left and I realised I had very little left. It was my causing that my life was stuck but I felt like so long as I had him I was happy. How deluded I was. I've lashed out at a lot of people but the majority of the time my own frustrations are at the heart of it. I've spents so many years putting things off, things which I really needed to address such as my social anxiety but the longer I put it off, the tougher it became. There are other issues which I won't go into but it all seems so clear now. If I can regain control of my life and set about sorting some long ignored problems, maybe the mood swings will take care of themselves. More than anything I think I need to lift my mood because I haven't felt truly happy in so long. I went out tonight with friends I hadn't seen in years and we laughed all night. Previous to that I couldn't remember the last time I'd laughed. I also had 6 rum and cokes on an empty stomach. So why aren't I drunk?? Answer me that.