Best way to establish friends?

[ravensfan]

So I'm trying to make new friends, and one way I'm trying to do it is by contacting people I've met at one point or another through facebook. A lot of these people I knew from random places (class, friend of a friend). I tried taking the approach of just sending them a message and asking them what they're up to on a certain day, and if there's something going on and don't mind me tagging along.

 

This approach doesn't seem to work. Nobody really replies or seems to care. I think I need to take a different approach here and try something else with these people. I'm sure these people wouldn't mind hanging out with me, but the fact that I don't know them very well probably makes it a little harder for me to establish anything.

 

Any helpful ideas appreciated. Thanks.

[goodkarma_1]

hi-- In my opinion and experience, I think randomly contacting these ppl may seem a bit weird or uncomfortable in some cases..maybe thats why they dont respond? Who knows. Some ppl may take it as an invite but it seems like most ppl these days already have their own click. It sucks I know because I would like to make new friends and I have a hard time as well. Im kinda shy but I've learned to think past that if I want to make friends. My advice (and I tell myself this too) is to find a hobby/activity that you like to do and make friends from there. Its easier to make friends this way because you will be participating in the same activity and will have the same interests right off the bat for conversation. Look up a meet up group in your area or take some random classes (photo, art etc). And always remember to be yourself and outgoing but not TOO overly friendly where it would irritate some people (not saying that you are in any way though That would be my advice Hope that helps

[geekgirl4]

i think sending a message is a bit uncomfortable. Try writing on their wall and let them know you're watching the game and ask if they're interested in seeing it at your place. Try inviting them to something you're planning, rather than asking to tag along - that seems like you're being a bit desperate.

[Citlali]

Unless you are currently in contact with them, or were at one point, randomly messaging people or posting on their walls will come off as weird and it will make them uncomfortable. You should try finding activities you like and meet people that way. It's much easier.

[ravensfan]

Ugh. I've always been bad at making/keeping friends. I'll give going to meetups a shot. Finding the meetups hasn't been a challenge, I can find plenty of them. The hard part is finding meetups with people my age doing things I could be interested in. Keyword being age. Hanging out with people 20 years older than me doesn't sound very appealing.

[Citlali]

Do you have any fb friends whom you actually know and have talked to before, as in they remember who you are? If so, you might want to slowly post on their statuses or something like that. I know making friends is difficult, because even when you find people your age there's the issue of them being friend material--honest, caring, etc. Believe me, we all have issues with that. I think you may be too self conscious and nervous. Relax. Take it easy and just be more open and talkative when you do meet people. It'll take some practice, but you'll get there. I used to be really shy too.

[ravensfan]

Thanks for the help. I'll look at other ways I can meet people.