Broke up, need adivse

[Profit]

This post might be a little too long but I will try to be as brief as possible. Any advice is much appreciated. Thanks

 

I've been with my girlfriend for a year and two months. I' am 19 years old and she is 17, going to 18 soon. This was our first real relationship and after a few months we fell in love. I loved this girl like crazy and did everything to make our relationship work. I live about 3 hours drive away from her but we managed to see each other almost every week. She traveled up to my place almost every weekend and slept over. We spoke on the phone every night and sometime we texted during the day.It was getting too much because it was like we had a responsibility to talk every night. We were both jealous but she was really jealous, she would start fights with me over everything. We were at a party once and some girl put on my jacket. My girlfriend heard me telling her to take it off but I wasn't going to chase her around the party to get it back. My girlfriend walked out and started crying and arguing with me. And whenever I got a message on facebook or any other website she expected me to tell her right away, I had nothing to hide but telling her I got a message wasn't the first thing on my mind. She once decided to go on a break with me because she was really stressed with herself, but she still texted my sister checking up on me. There were many stupid situations like this.

 

At the start of our relationship I broke up with her a few times because of some stupid things that she did, she never cheated on me but she annoyed me with some things she did. But we always made up in less than two days. After a few months into the relationship when we fell in love, I couldn't help but be nice to her because I really loved her. For Valantines Day I bought alot of candles and wrote I love you on my bedroom floor. When she walked in she started crying and said she doesn't deserve all that, and she always told me that I deserve better than her. After some time I could see that she was using my kindness to her advantage in a way. Two months ago she broke up with me because everything was getting too much for her, she said that she didn't feel free in this relationship because wherever she went I asked her who she was with and questions like that. And she didn't want to fight. So I told her that we don't need to text each other everyday and talk on the phone and we should stop being so insecure and I promised her I could do that, but she said that if I was out somewhere she would still want to know who was there and she couldn't help but question me. I pointed out everything that was wrong in our relationship and I told her how we could make it right but she still broke up with me. After two days she started texting me and she told me how she realized everything and that she wants to be with me forever. I told her not to get back with me if she is going to have doubts later on in future. So we got back together. But nothing really changed because we were still questioning each other when we were out with friends and always argued. I told her I would stop but I couldn't stop because she continued doing it.

 

I always felt I had more will to make our relationship work. Every time we seen each other or did something together I planned it and that really annoyed me. I told her if she wanted to see me she needs to talk to me and make it happen, if you want something you have to make it happen. She said she does want to see me all the time but doesn't know why she doesn't ask me, its like she expected me to do everything. It was like that for our whole relationship and that really annoyed me. So I spoke to her about it and I didn't see her will to make things right, that really hurt me so I said some things I shouldn't have out of anger. I apologized and she knows I didn't mean it. We planned on seeing each other on that weekend but wen I asked her if it was a good idea she said that we should leave it out because she is really stressed over what happened because what I said really hurt her and she didn't want to talk the next day. But she understood that she hurt me aswell. She texted me the following day saying she can't do this anymore and broke up with me. She said she can't do this anymore but never gave me a proper explanation. I told her that I' am going to accept her decision and not bother her again and she texted me saying thanks and I never wrote back. She is doing her last year in secondary school now and I know she couldn't focus on her exams and everything was too much for her. We didn't talk to a week now, I removed her from facebook and deleted our pictures but she still kept them. She was my first love, whatever happened in the past I always did my best to make it work and I am really disappointed now because she's not doing that. She really broke my heart this time.

 

Have you guys got any advise for me or can you tell me what you think about all this please? Thanks..

[Boughs]

Sounds like you are keeping rather level headed. Seems like similar choices I would make in your situation. I'd say keep no contact. She'll realize one day the things she may or may not have done right. I think she needs time just like you need time to understand what goes into a relationship. It isn't always about how much fun you are having, but also, how easy are the hard times?

[Profit]

This has been our first proper break up. We didn't talk for a week now. Do you think she will come back to me? Why do you think she never made things happen and never planned anything? If she loved me would she just give up on us like that? What do you think I should do now? One of her friends texted me asking to get with some girl, I dont know if my ex told her to text me to see what I would do because my ex taught i liked this girl before. There are a good few girls that really like me but I' am not the type of a guy that gets with easy girls and I cant see myself with anybody else right now. I wish things worked out between us because she was a descent girl and I really love her. From what I mentioned do you think she loved me? She said I hurt her because I got angry when I didn't see that she was trying to make things work and I said I would sleep with another girl. I apologized for this and i truly didn't mean it, I only said it because I knew it would annoy her and I' am sure she knows this. She also accepted my apology and said she wouldn't break up with me because her love for me is stronger than that. However her friends told her that I shouldn't have said that to her for no reason and I' am made out to be a bad guy I' am sure they are telling her not to get back with me. She accepted my apology but after a few days she still broke up with me without any explanation. I always wanted to make things right and had more will. What do you think I should do now? Thanks for the advise.

[onelifeliveit]

Hello mate,

 

I think most of us have been through a relationship like yours, the thing you need to do is just think of life in general. Its your first love and you have learnt a lot from that. I remember I got my first love when I was 17, she seemed like she was amazing and the rest of it. 2 years down the line we broke up, Its a big killer and it will stay with you. About a year ago I got my self a new lady and she was out the window, I managed to get one of those girls that ctach your eye instantly, I fell in love with her so quickly, my first love didnt really matter after that, i would see her with her bf and it wouldnt bother me. Now I have broke up with my new girlfried the pain is much worse and she was a much better girl in alot of ways. Dont get me wrong, you wont ever forget your first love.

 

Your young, you have the rest of your life and trust me things will work out. Its part of life and everything happens for a reason. Just be strong and keep up the NC.

 

Believe me when I say, "once a relationship has broken up once, it will never work."

 

Your next GF, you will appreciate the times when its good, as thats something I have learnt over the past. When you first get with someone, they are the best times and you will experince that again.

 

Be strong mate, we have all been through it.

 

PS: just think of people who have got kids and a morgage, they have to go through much worse then we can ever dream of.

[Profit]

It's just really hard to accept all this. I' am so used to talking to her everyday and there are so many questions unanswered. I' am not going to contact because she is the one that broke up with me. If I don't contact her is there more of a chance of her contacting me? Could somebody please respond to the quoted text below.. Thanks