1 year

[ACarrington]

It has been 1 year since we broke up and I recently found out some hugely shocking information. (I am bisexual, and this was the first guy I had ever been with. We were together 6 months and he ended it with me because I could not give him the type of relationship that he wanted (Im in the closet), and he met someone else.) Turns out I recently met someone from a different city that he was sexually and romantically involved with for over a year, and was with the WHOLE TIME we were together. I am absolutely floored. The reason being that this guy was the one who wanted to be monogamous. Two months after we started seeing each other I cheated on him. I immediately told him and apologized (at the time we were in an open relationship, but I still felt guilty). He said its ok, he cheated once too with an old "buddy". So from then on it was understood that we would only see each other. When we broke up he told me that he was partially ending it with me because he knew he and this new guy were going to be intimate and he didnt want to break his promise and cheat, so he wanted to break up before that happened. A month or two later I tried to win him back, tried to seduce him, almost succeeded, but he said "I cant cheat. Im not a cheater. I couldnt live with myself if I did." (He was seeing this new guy still) So I backed off and totally respected him for that and havent seen him sense. We still talk every once in a while.

 

The guy he was involved with was/is with a woman, but they had a (pseudo)monogamous relationship (not to see other men I guess). So he lied to this guy too. Neither of us new about each other till now-- by complete coincidence.

 

So after all that he was involved with another guy the whole time. They even went on trips together. "Business" trips that I saw pictures from and received phone calls while he was on them.

 

I dont think I should confront him and Im trying so hard to just let it go, but im furious. He was very sweet to me while we were together, but this dude is obviously manipulative, a liar, and pretty crazy in my opinion! I cared a lot about this guy. And still did to this day. I just cant believe this... You think you know some one-- obviously I didnt!!!!!

 

Any advice on how to get over something like this quickly? More than anything I think I just needed to vent...

[mattguy]

oh wow that is insane.

 

I dont think theres really a way to get over this quickly. Just let yourself process it, go through the motions, do what you feel you need to do, and with time you will be feeling good again. Maybe dont involve yourself with this new guy who was seeing the old guy, its best to cut off all connections to him so u can move on quicker.

 

i dunno thats just my advice...

[Longview01]

Just feel happy that he is out of your life now, he sounds like a complusive lier to me