What do you say...?

[Silencio]

I just heard that my friend's mom died last night. It's so sad, especially on Mother's Day, and I am so sorry that it happened. I hope my friend is doing ok though, as well as can be anyway. Her mom was really sick for awhile so I think my friend and her family knew what was going to happen and I hope they had a chance to say goodbye to her and everything.

 

This girl, S, is not a close friend of mine, though she used to be when I was in high school. In grade 12 some drama happened with one of our other friends and me and S just drifted away from each other after that. We've never gotten back onto any solid ground with each other over the last few years. I can't say I've tried really hard to get back on closer terms with her, it just seems so long ago now that we were close, that now I'm not sure if it could ever be that way again.

 

Anyway, I guess what I was wondering is what do I say to her when I see her at her mom's funeral? How do I let her know that I'm there? I've never dealt with losing a loved one before, at least not yet in my life anyway. I'm really not sure how you approach a situation like this.

[_Asti_]

When it comes to funerals, often times the family are so bombarded with crowds of people coming through, even if you do say something...they may not be there mentally or emotionally to really grasp at what you've said.

I can barely remember half the people that walked through the funeral home when my Mother passed, let alone things they said.

 

I would perhaps send a card afterwards...a little note included saying you're thinking of her etc.

 

I had an old friend come back into my life, or atleast try to after my Mom passed. It wasn't well received on my end, but I suppose thats partially my fault. The whole thought of "She couldn't be there when my Mother was sick.." sort of situation..and its petty but it really bothered me.

 

Personally, I wouldn't make the contact or effort at the funeral home. Thats just my two cents. Leave a card, send a card, send a little token or gift afterwards with a letter or words of comfort, and a reach out for going for coffee, or something like that.