Need some opinions or advice on my situation

[Nihilist Skitz]

I just need some advice or something

 

Im a Mild Skitzophenic and its getting worse, im a Nihilist, wasnt always

 

I was once a happy, joking, and funny individual but then things started changing when i started showing symptoms of depression, i went to doctors, who figured that it wasnt simple depression but the onset of skitzophenia. My life took a major turn for the worst, i failed school, went from B's and A's to C's and D's, and lost all my faith in anything. I became a Nihilist and every day doesnt seem to have a point

 

There is this one girl, smart, funny, beautiful, everything i used to be, and i get even more depressed every time i see her because i know that once, i would have been good enough for her, and i know that even if she did feel the same way about me, i wouldnt be able to live with myself because she deserves better.

 

I just want someone elses opinion on my situation

[bugbug]

im not in your situation but i do know that no one is beta than anyone else, i use to think i was not good enough for my girlfriend, she knew it and used it against me. now no one is to good for me(dont get me wrong im no hunk lol) but i just know that im a good person and thats what i deserve to.

hope i helped tom.x

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Is there any way this can be treated so that you can get your life back on track. You sound very much aware so it may be possible to get treatment (medication and counselling and cognitive behavioural therapy) so that you can fight the negative mindset.

[Nihilist Skitz]

Thats half my issue though, i know that im not a good person, i was, but now i hardly fit the bill, im always drugged out, i sit in the dark of my apartment and shoot up and drink, I just dont think it would be fair for such a great person to be tied down by me

[Speranza]

Sounds as though you need a bit more input from whoever supports you with your mental health needs. At least you know this isn't right - try to cling to that... and who can you go to IRL for some help? You need to tell them what you've said here.

[Nihilist Skitz]

THing with the treatment idea is that i dont want some coatwearing rich git with everything he could want in life, whos never had to endure severe mental disorders, to tell me why what im doing isnt good. I could get my life back on track but ill just die in however many years anyway so there isnt much point

[spearntime]

Wait, did you write that you "shoot up" and drink?

 

That may just be the whole problem!! How is anything managable that way? Nonetheless if you've been diagnosed with this illness?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

THing with the treatment idea is that i dont want some coatwearing rich git with everything he could want in life, whos never had to endure severe mental disorders, to tell me why what im doing isnt good. I could get my life back on track but ill just die in however many years anyway so there isnt much point

 

But what do you want...clearly sitting in the dark wallowing is not helpful to you...you may have a mental disorder but you are CHOOSING to wallow in it rather than fight it. There are people with mental illness who fight it and go on to do amazing things...then there are those who just wallow and become a shell of who they once were. While your diagnosis is not an easy one to deal with and will take a light of effort on your part to get a handle on, it is do-able..but you need to find the drive and ambition to overcome the obstacles and make a life for yourself.

[Nihilist Skitz]

The substance abuse is rather recent, and its only about twice a month, when my mood swings to rock bottom, otherwise the though doesnt even cross my mind

[spearntime]

link removed

 

"Studies suggest that genetics, early environment, neurobiology, psychological and social processes are important contributory factors; some recreational and prescription drugs appear to cause or worsen symptoms".

[spearntime]

Is it possible that your depression causes you to cope with unhealthy means such as drugs/alcohol? This in turn causes the schizophrenic reactions?

 

I know a family member whom had these symptoms JUST from coming off of medications too quickly. These were anti-psychotics. They made him see things, even.

 

Please research what these medications can do, and the things to avoid while being treated. If coming off a med, it should be done over six months. Most dr.s are too stupid to even know this. They are usually under the control of the drug companies.

[IntotheWild]

Perhaps you should try a new belief system. It's only natural that nihilism would be extremely depressing. Look into humanism or buddhism or something that will help you find purpose.