How do you know if someone is string you along

[jbrooklyn]

I hear on here how sometimes a person is being strung along by someone. One person thinks it may lead to something more the other person is not sure or truly know that it wont. How do you know when you are being strung along?

[Ebrithil]

You will never know really if your being stung along. Maybe the other person doesnt know what they want and are hesitant to get into any relationship before they sort their own mind out.

 

My advice would be just to go with each moment, respond to them how they act at the time that way your not diving in to deep before they are ready for you.

[HeartGoesOn]

Take your time in getting to know them, and watch their actions more so than their words.

[jbrooklyn]

i notice how some people will get fully attached to someone who doesnt know what they want which can really lead to someone getting hurt. (raising my hand). Sometimes people can be so ambigous and keep you in the grey but spend time with you and call you all the time. It is ugly. i think the person who is not sure where they stand should make sure they have something else going on in their lives and not settle their feet at this mansion. Easier said than done.

[Ebrithil]

It can lead you to getting hurt if thats the situation, you need to build a relationship with the person slowly so that they care for you and you them, its not somthing that happens over night.

 

The problem with being the person with the uncertainty is that you have the potential to have so much and so little. You can make your choice and end up regreting it, or you can not make a choice and end up regretting it. Either way your leaving somthing behind and your mind will play on that.

[jbrooklyn]

It can lead you to getting hurt if thats the situation, you need to build a relationship with the person slowly so that they care for you and you them, its not somthing that happens over night.

 

The problem with being the person with the uncertainty is that you have the potential to have so much and so little. You can make your choice and end up regreting it, or you can not make a choice and end up regretting it. Either way your leaving somthing behind and your mind will play on that.

 

wow. Spoken like a true ambigous voice of reason. I appreciate that feedback. I believe after a certain amount of time has past, you should have a general idea whats up with yourself I think.

 

Either way, the other person needs to be careful concerning their emotions

[Tanzi]

i notice how some people will get fully attached to someone who doesnt know what they want which can really lead to someone getting hurt. (raising my hand). Sometimes people can be so ambigous and keep you in the grey but spend time with you and call you all the time. It is ugly. i think the person who is not sure where they stand should make sure they have something else going on in their lives and not settle their feet at this mansion. Easier said than done.

 

 

You are right, at the end of the day we are the keepers of our own destiny. If we don't want to get hurt we need to protect ourselves but, llike you say ... its easier said than done.

 

In answer to your question, it isn't always easy to tell if you are being strung along but I believe you know when you AREN'T ... if that makes sense. If you are in any doubt about a relationship and think that the person is stringing then, as you said above, we need to protect ourselves by being cautious but when things are going really well and someone is being really open and loving I think you can tell when they really mean it. Perhaps I am just a romantic.

[Chantal87]

But how do you keep your emotions out of it and keep from getting hurt if you are uncertain as to what the other person wants?

[Batya33]

You don't of course - you just keep a balance, by having a fun, fulfilling, independent life apart from who ever you are dating, you don't put your life/friends/activities on hold just because you're smitten and you check in with yourself and make sure that the insecurities/vulnerability you're feeling hasn't gone off the deep end (that's why it works better if you are happy with yourself before you meet someone).

 

Oh and for me what worked best for my emotional health was not to have sex until we were exclusive, dating at least a few months (usually longer) and very serious about the relationship and potential marriage.

 

I agree with watch the feet not the lips and I think there is a way to communicate your needs/goals without being overwhelming (also works better if you're a reasonably secure person).

 

I found it pretty easy to tell when someone wasn't sure about me - the calls would get less frequent, so would the enthusiasm and the willingness to plan dates in the future (no, he didn't need to be jumping up and down but I could just tell by tone of voice/manner), etc.

[jbrooklyn]

You are right, at the end of the day we are the keepers of our own destiny. If we don't want to get hurt we need to protect ourselves but, llike you say ... its easier said than done.

 

In answer to your question, it isn't always easy to tell if you are being strung along but I believe you know when you AREN'T ... if that makes sense. If you are in any doubt about a relationship and think that the person is stringing then, as you said above, we need to protect ourselves by being cautious but when things are going really well and someone is being really open and loving I think you can tell when they really mean it. Perhaps I am just a romantic.

 

Bingo! I think thats it. If you are having doubts, it is your inner voice talking to you. I see what you mean. Good answer

[Ebrithil]

If you were to spend time with this person get close to them, develop a relationship with them and then take it away, (this doesnt have to be harsh just breaking the routeen for one day) they will notice that its gone and hopfuly this will help them to decied what they really want and how they really feel.